I'm a male respondant

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
I'm a male respondant
23
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 2:42pm

I get the feeling that this website is mostly geared towards women, which getting a woman's perspective here might help me out. I apologize up front because this may get long, but here it goes.

My girlfriend and I were in a serious relationship for 11 months. Throughout those 11 months we had one of the best relationships anyone could ask for. It got to the point where she wanted to get married, but I just wasn't quite ready. I did, however, tell her that I had every intention to marry her when the time was right. I also told her that everything was going to be okay. Towards the end of our relationship my job sent me to a new location. This was at the 9 month point, so we had two months of a long distance relationship. Over the course of those two months things became rather rocky. Our phone conversations would have long periods of silence. And we couldn't seem to agree on much of anything anymore. We had differing beliefs on the wedding, where we should have it, our current long distance relationship...etc. I started to get frustrated but never let her know how I was feeling (I did that a lot in our relationship. I would bottle things up and then react based soley on my emotions.) It got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore so one day on the phone I ended it all. That was two weeks ago. It was an extremely emotional break up for both of us and she never saw it coming.

Fast forward to today.

Today, I feel about as much regret and sadness as anyone can possibly feel. I can't sleep, I don't want to eat, and my production at work is questionable at best. I'm afraid that I've ruined everything we have ever had. Our recent conversations on the phone have been very bad. She says she's "so mad" at me right now, but I can't help myself from trying to talk to her and tell her how much I love her. I call her or write her all the time. I know everytime I do it I piss her off even more, but I just can't live without her. I don't want things to be over and I'll do anything to stay together with her. I love her so much. I need some help on how to handle her, and our relationship.

Your Reacts without Thinking Friend

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Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 7:48pm

Thanks for the support. I know the road ahead is going to be difficult, but each new day is a little better than the day before. I took the advice someone had posted about sitting down and writing a hand written letter. In the letter, I expressed my feelings and talk about the good times we shared. I also included what my vision of the future was whether she was involved in that future or not. I left open the option for us to get back together if she wanted to. We'll see what happens, but I do feel a little better having written the letter.

I really want to thank everyone who has given me advice and shown support on here. If I told my guy friends that I was seeking advice on a website like this they would probably laugh in my face and break my balls. Honestly, I don't care what they think because coming to this board and talking about my situation and listening to the objective solutions/opinions from you all has really helped me the past week or so. I like talking here because all of you are strangers to me. When my girlfried and I broke up, my friends immediately took my side and her friends naturally took her side (and both sets of friends villified my girlfriend and I). On here, there are no sides so that's why I like it. Anyway, I'll keep everyone updated on what happens. Thanks again.

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 8:31pm
Glad to hear and please do keep us updated.
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 1:50am
Hey, you know I was thinking, you probably want to hear or know that your ex is feeling just as bad as you are. Well my guess is a definate yes. I broke up with a guy because he was so cold and distant, in the end, and it killed me. I was so sad. I didn't take his calls or respond to him. But, you can't be in a relationship that long and not have a hard time letting go, wheather you did it for the right reason or it was done to you. Even when you know it is the right thing to do, IT HURTS. She is hurting too.

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