I'm meeting her tomorrow-5 weeks after
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| Tue, 12-12-2006 - 3:11pm |
Hi there,
I can type long stories so I'll try to keep this short.
1.5 year relationship ended 5 weeks ago with a huge emotional fight. The day after, I had to go out of town for a few days. When I got back "we were done". I of course did the worst thing: i chased hard and all she did was pull farther back. I chilled out since, and as this is my bday week, i asked her for coffee and she agreed for tomorrow.
I love her with all that i am and want to do the right thing - considering i chased before and she prolly expects somelevel of that from me tomorrow as that would be predicatable from me, what do i do. Everyone says keep it SUPER light and don't bring up anything heavy, and other people say be totally yourself and if you feel like you want to talk about feelings go ahead. I have already apoligized over and over again so that doesnt need to happen, and she knows already how much i care.
So, as a woman, what would you LIKE to see in this situation, or more specifically, what might mess you up in the head a bit more. The guy you know who loves you but know is aloof and didnt act in the expected manner, or the light gift bearing guy that says c'mon babe, what are we doing...this is how we can work and here's why.
I have been blessed in relationships while in them as not much game playing has happend before, but in a situation like this i think sometimes its necessary, but i'm not sure. thoughts appreciated!
Edited 12/12/2006 3:15 pm ET by yzerman2001

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Sorry, but you sound lots like my ex. I broke up with him 2 months ago and he has not let up. All that it has done is pushed me further and further away. I don't even want to talk to him at all now. His bday came about 6 weeks after the breakup and he asked me out to dinner. ALL he did was talk about how he missed me, missed us, doesn't want this to end. It competely pissed me off. Everytime I give an inch, he takes a mile. Now I am completely without contact. He contacts me under the guise of it being about something else, then talks about the relationship and feelings
If you want to talk feelings, tell her this. If she doesn't, respect that. If you really just want coffee and some company on your bday, you had better keep it to coffee and light convo - not feelings.
What I think I would want would be a combination of light conversation and a *short* statement from you saying something like, "You know I'm very sorry about what happened, I won't keep dwelling on that. I would like to try again, but I will respect your feelings on this. If you want to try again, I hope you'll let me know". And then DROP IT (unless she wants to talk about it and asks you questions) and move on with the conversation.
I think you have to acknowledge the pink elephant in the room (your breakup and the fact that you want to try again) but you don't need to beat it to death.
Sheri
just b/c you're mad at your ex doesn't mean you need to give me a big thumbs down! RAWR..
seriously tho.
I'm not mad at him. I've moved on. He is holding on. The relationship is over.
You are holding on to a relationship that's over. You've made it clear how you feel. If she felt the same way, you'd be together.
Carrie
I had an ex 'just ask' me to meet.... my feelings were different than those that you describe your ex to have.
I hope it turns out the way you hope. Post an update after it happens.
Carrie
Carrie
Wow. Are you sure you really want to get back together with someone who would toy with you like that, knowing how you feel?
Huh. Go figure.
Sheri
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