I'm meeting her tomorrow-5 weeks after

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
I'm meeting her tomorrow-5 weeks after
11
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 3:11pm

Hi there,

I can type long stories so I'll try to keep this short.

1.5 year relationship ended 5 weeks ago with a huge emotional fight. The day after, I had to go out of town for a few days. When I got back "we were done". I of course did the worst thing: i chased hard and all she did was pull farther back. I chilled out since, and as this is my bday week, i asked her for coffee and she agreed for tomorrow.

I love her with all that i am and want to do the right thing - considering i chased before and she prolly expects somelevel of that from me tomorrow as that would be predicatable from me, what do i do. Everyone says keep it SUPER light and don't bring up anything heavy, and other people say be totally yourself and if you feel like you want to talk about feelings go ahead. I have already apoligized over and over again so that doesnt need to happen, and she knows already how much i care.

So, as a woman, what would you LIKE to see in this situation, or more specifically, what might mess you up in the head a bit more. The guy you know who loves you but know is aloof and didnt act in the expected manner, or the light gift bearing guy that says c'mon babe, what are we doing...this is how we can work and here's why.

I have been blessed in relationships while in them as not much game playing has happend before, but in a situation like this i think sometimes its necessary, but i'm not sure. thoughts appreciated!




Edited 12/12/2006 3:15 pm ET by yzerman2001

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 11:47am

So bluntly, your meeting and time spent with her established that she likes flirting with, likes your attention as it strokes her ego and makes her feel good to be wanted, but she's not willing to be exclusive or commit to you, you are kind of the 'back up plan' in case the 'light dating' doesn't work out? And it's easier to flirt/sleep with someone you've already been in a relationship with instead of being expected to with the new people she dates.

Personally, I wouldn't let her have it both ways. I'd rather know which side of the fence she's on instead of letting her ride the fence.

Good luck to you.


Carrie

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