I'm a mess right now...
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| Sat, 10-21-2006 - 11:29pm |
I can't stop crying!! I feel so helpless. It seems like anything I do just isn't good enough for him. I put so much effort into our relationship, but he just doesn't care for it! I don't know what to do! I've tried getting over him so many times (you can see the amount of my posts on this board) but I just can't seem to quit him. And everytime I get back together with him I always have the slightest hope that he would change, and that THIS time it would be different. But at the same time I'm thinking, you are so stupid. Why are you going back to him when you know he hasn't changed the last hundred times...what makes this time any different???
I hate how I'm feeling right now. I feel this constant tightness in my chest. And it hurts so much and I just can't stop crying. It is so unlike me to be so out of control especially of my emotions. But he's my weakness. And I hate me for it. I wish I knew how to quit him. I just can't keep doing this...it's a vicious cycle!! We have a fight, we say hurtful things, we take a break, or temporarily break up...then we miss each other, and so we try things out again, and then the cycle starts again......and it seems that each time I get more and more hurt.
I know it is so dumb of me to keep going back to the source that hurts me so much!!!! But why is it that I can't help myself...he's not even the same person I fell in love with anymore, yet I can't seem to leave him.
Thank you so much for reading this. I just really needed to get this off my chest.
--co5mogirl

People don't change unless they are internally motivated to do so.
Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie
Gal Blondie
You don't really want to quit him, becuase if you did, you would.