I'm not doing too well

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2008
I'm not doing too well
19
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 2:07pm

I am in day 5 of no contact even though we broke up 5 weeks ago. I was naive and tried to tell him how he was the love of my life and how I would wait for him while he "finds himself". He basically said no. We were together for 3 years.

I go through feeling so sad and empty to being so angry that I want to see him only to punch him and walk away.

How do people recover from this? How am I ever going to be able to look at the good times we shared and be happy for the memories? Right now, I feel like everything coming out of his mouth was a lie from Day 1.

I'm not going to get back together with him. My ex is the type who shuts down so I know he will not call me again. I do know in my heart that we were not going to last but why does it hurt so much?

My birthday is Saturday. I'm going out with friends. We're going to a restaurant that I took my ex too and then it became one of "our" restaurant. Don't know how smart that is but it is what it is. Any advice how to get though the night without bawling?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 3:52pm
wow greekgirl! were we dating the same guy?! haha. mine seems to be exactly the same as yours. he broke up with me, but blamed me for everything. he said he had wanted to get married and blah blah blah, but basically left spewing out how i screwed everything up. if he really wanted to get married to me he would not have left. and he too was VERY immature. maybe thats another reason they dealt with our breakups the way have. who knows?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 4:01pm

get a vibrator & a teddy bear....it helps a lot! trust me.


hang in there


it will get better, i promise


live the life you love

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 4:11pm

Hi Smartyp,


You and I are on the same boat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 5:14pm

been there, done that millions of times, millions of sleepless nights with all about crying and crying..


You won't recover until you really quit thinking about him. Don't worry about him, don't analyze, don't recall anything you did/said/he said/did etc. etc. If you start thinking, write down all things you hated about him. I'm serious.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2008
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 10:15pm

Hey all- I've been trying to keep myself busy so I haven't been able to post recently. I'm back at school and just realized how much I have to do. Talk about staying busy!

My ex would shut down but he wouldn't just ignore me. His trick was to flip everything I had to say back on me. I felt I would have a valid point and he would throw it back at me so fast, I swear I got whiplash.

I don't know if or when he will get a new relationship. I know if and when I find out, it will probably crus hme too. One of the last times we talked, he actually spoke of MY next relationship. I don't know how to take that. I can't even think about getting so deeply involved with anyone for a long, long time.

You know what kind of kills me about these posts? The stories of how people reunited. I don't know about my future but I do know that my ex would have to not only have to change his mind about the three big things we argued about but he would somehow have to make up for all this hurt and anger I am going through. I actually don't know if that is possible! And when do you get past the anger? I don't want to be this person but every thought of him just fills me with rage. I hear those stories about how people can talk again after a break-up but when does that happen? I can't even think that I will be able to talk to him one day.

It is a little bit of a rough night but I am doing some writing and some reading and I think I will be okay. I hope all of you are doing well and you are in my thoughts. Thanks for being around to let us all vent!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Fri, 02-29-2008 - 2:23am

haha marcie!!! your ex sounds so much like mine that its scary. he absolutely wouldn't take the blame for anything and told me that i was over emotional and worried too much. pretty much made me feel like i had some bad mental issues or something. whatever, i'm really

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 2:19pm
hey greekgirl. i think that guys like ours are more common than you think. how old is your ex? just wondering, because mine is 27 and i think that he has no excuse to act as immature as he did with this whole break up. to make things worse he is a momma's boy which is really what started the breakup. i told him that he needed to get off his mom's t*t and he freaked out. and of course... he broke up with me, just quit his job here and where did he go?? to live with his mom. haha! does anyone else think that is weird for a 27 year old? i think its very immature to just quit a job and leave town so he wouldnt have to face conflict.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 2:29pm

My ex is 19 (I'm 20), so he is in his more immature years. so i probably shouldn't complain like i do. It is sad that your ex is that old and acting that way but i do think there are probably many guys out there that are that age that act like that. being in the dating world again i've noticed a lot of guys that are older than me that seem to be similar to the way my ex was and i am trying to avoid that at all costs.


mama's boys are never fun. i absolutely can't stand guys like that! i am all for a guy caring and respecting his mom but when he seems to still have an invisible umbilical cord, ehh!


my ex didn't wasn't very close to his mom but i know that she was crazy about him. She was very protective over him and for all i know she tried to get him to break up with me. She didn't like him and me dating because i'm not romanian (though i

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 3:26pm
yeah, my ex's mom is very controlling of him and always felt that i was taking away her baby. she was devastated when he moved away from our hometown with me. i think she felt as if i was the competition. about a week after our break up i know that my ex was having remorse about leaving me (i read his myspace private messages). but i'm pretty sure that his mom was telling him that he doesnt need me because she wanted him to stay with her. oh well i guess i'm better off without a guy that will do whatever his mom tells him.

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