I'm not responding, is that right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
I'm not responding, is that right?
4
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 11:32am

I just recently (2 weeks ago) broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years. About a month and a half ago I tried to break up with him b/c I had been feeling that we were not compatible and would not be together forever. I thought...we did not have a lot in common, we have separate groups of friends, we had never been on vacation together, my family didn't like him, etc. But, he made me feel guilty about trying to break up and convinced me that if we tried to work things out, we'd be okay. About amonth after my attempt to break up with him, I found out he had a relationship with another girl a few months ago. He said it wasn't physical, but I saw emails he sent to this girl and in those emails he said he loved her, so I knew it wasn't just a simple fling.

It's been two weeks since I've talked to him and I told him when we broke up that I would call him when I was ready to talk, but I also told him that I would be his friend but I couldnt be with him anymore cause I knew I'd never be able trust him again. Anyways, he hasn't called me but he has text messaged me 3 times. The first was the same night we broke up, it said "I love you and I'm sorry. Sweet Dreams." The second... "just wanted to let you know I miss you and hope you are doing okay." The third "wish we could share a snack plate (a plate of snack food he used to make for us when we watched movies) and tell molly (my dog) that I love her."

I have deleted each message so I wouldnt keep looking at them and b/c each one has made me feel guilty and have tempted me to message him back. I have been strong enough not to, but I don't know if I am doing the right thing. Do I respond to his text messages or cut off communication with him for a while?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 4:31pm
I think you are doing the right thing by ignoring his text messages. Sounds like he's using them to manipulate you. Do what's in your best interests.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 2:10pm

His messages

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 2:34pm
You are doing the absolute right thing. This guy is bizarre!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 7:03pm

Thank you all for your responses. My friends and sister have been saying the same things, I just wanted a few outside opinions from people that don't know him so this confirms what everyone has been telling me.

He sent yet ANOTHER text message this past Monday. It said "I might be moving at the end of February. I know you don't care but I'll let you know when I know what I'm doing. I will always love you."

GRRRRR!!! This is so frustrating cause I can't screen text messages!! I deleted this fourth message but keep thinking about what I want to say to him. And what's the most frustrating thing is that I don't want to say anything mean. I got out a lot of my anger when I found out about his other relationship but now I want to tell him that i think he's making a good choice and that I wish him the best of luck but I feel like any normal person would not wish someone that cheated on them the best of luck. I frustrate myself!!!! BUT I'm not going to say anything for now.