I'm sad today
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I'm sad today
| Fri, 12-29-2006 - 10:45am |
I’m having a bad day! Tomorrow will mark the 3rd week of me not calling him, although he’s spoken to me a few times, in passing. I was finally starting to feel a little better about the breakup. I was keeping myself busy, trying not to think about him, ignoring him when he spoke to me in passing (we work together), and just trying to keep myself in high spirits just so I wouldn’t get weak and call him again. I hadn’t even cried in a while. I was really doing good the past two weeks. But today, for some reason, I’m missing him like crazy and can’t get him out of my mind. He didn’t come to work today, and we’ll have a long weekend off because of New Years, and for some reason, the thought of going that long without seeing him, even in passing and although we’re not speaking, has saddened me. I’m worried that I’m going to break down and call him this weekend. Please give me some words of encouragement so that I won’t! I’ve been doing so good and I don’t want to mess this up. What do you guys do in your weak moments?

I always wonder why that happens? How come some days we feel like we can conquer the world and others we are in the gutter and feeling helpless again. It's not fair. I heard somewhere it's your head trying to catch up with your heart. Your heart is so powerful when it comes to emotions, and your head is consistently trying to catch up with your heart and balance everything out. Sounds possible,right?
I am probably not the best person to give advice, because I have these days quite often. What I can say is that I usually deal with it by isolating myself. Not the wisest thing to do, but I don't have any family or friends where I am currently living, so it is particularly hard. If you have family and friends in the area, force yourself to spend time with them. I am fortunate to be home right now for the holidays, so I have been forcing myself to hang out with my family and see old friends. It doesn't solve anything long-term, and maybe not even short-term, but it certainly makes you feel a little better. I also call my most awesome friend in the world and we literally talk for hours and hours. She doesn't mind hearing me cry and complain for hours about my x. Without her, I don't think I would survive.
I hope I helped in some little way. I know what you mean about not seeing him over the weekend, but it's probably better that you won't. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Anyone who's been through a break-up knows that's bull, but there is a small sliver of truth to that. Hang in there. I always think about the future and how good it will feel to get my life under control again.
Good Luck!
I really feel this moment of weakness you are experiencing has a lot to do with the holidays and all.
I too have had a tough time with this. I even posted yesterday when I got the strong urge to contact him after 40 days NC.
So in the meantime.DON'T CALL. Seek advice from members of board (like what you have just done), pray, reread your past posts of your journey since the breakup. These are the things I am doing in my situation and believe you right now as I am reading on this board the urge has diminished. But girl, in my case, this limbo situation I'm in even adds to the frustration.
But, JUST don't call when you feel a sudden emotional urge. Give it time.
I have moments when I feel like calling him. I wonder how he's doing or I'll think of something that I would have asked him about or reminded him of when we were together. Still, I know I'm doind so much better since we stopped talking. Every time my phone rings I say a little prayer "please let it be anyone but him" as I walk to pick it up. I felt like whenever we talked I had to go through everything in my mind all over again and go back and read my lists about why we broke up. Contact really does keep us confused. I just really hope he is doing ok.
Hang in there. It will get better with time.
Thanks! guys for all your encouragement. I put on 10 pounds moping around over him and this week I just started doing 2-mile speed walks on my lunch break. I wasn't going to go today because I was feeling so bad this morning, but after reading what you guys had to say, it pumped me up to go ahead and do my walk, and now I'm back at work feeling a whole lot better. You guys help more than you know! And I promise, I won't call him this long weekend! I think I'm going to spend the entire weekend at the gym or doing some kind of physical exercise because I absolutely hate this weight that I put on. Anyway, I'll keep you posted.
Thanks again!
hi sprungandhateit,
well dont call him...read my post "OMG...GUESS WHAT??"
guys dont realized what they lost if we stick around and calling them...i havent call my exbf for about 1 1/2 month...last night he find a reason to see me...even it was late for him to go back home cuz he has work around 3:30am..
now my point if this guys/our exbf....really wants to talk or see us.. they will make a way no matter how busy they are...also what i realized if i dont call my ex he end up calling me...so i guess its better not to call him. right??
the weird part is your taking a risk if we start having contact again w/them...cuz maybe are feelings might get back or who knows...LOL
dont worry everything will be okay i know its hard for your situation cuz both of you works together....well my advise is ALWAYS LOOK BETTER/PRETTY....LET HIM DROOL...LOL
GOOD LUCK
Those endorphins from exercising are amazing, aren't they? I swear that I work out more for my mental health than my physical health! Glad you got out there...
I wanted to post since I have a similar situation with a person at work (although our relationship was extremely casual, and really, not at all a good thing.) Nevertheless, it's HARD to not be able to really shut him out of my life completely. It was actually getting much better before he hooked up with a girl who sits 10 feet away from me, and knows nothing about him and I. That is driving me most crazy.
My point though is this - I've come to treasure the days he is off, or works from home, or days where I work from home - because I know that each of these days will aid in my healing process. I've gotten to the point where I desperately want all the space I can get. I know inside that it is helping me. Now, of course I need to deal with him once in a while for work matters, and he actually tried to make small talk the other day. So I can deal with him, and survive, but life is better when I don't have to.
Hang in there, I know you're doing your very best in a rough sitation!