I'm sad tonight...
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| Mon, 03-03-2008 - 8:40pm |
I don't really have a question, but just needed to vent, I guess. if you have any opinions/observations, please let me know. This might not be the exact right board either, but I'm not sure what is...
I was dating a guy for 4 months. We didn't have a date on Saturday, so I went out to dinner with some girlfriends then came back to my local neighborhood bar to meet some other girlfriends, and later that evening T. (the guy) walked in. We hung out for a few hours with his friends and my friends, and everything seemed okay, except it was obvious that he'd been out with the boys and had had a few drinks.
At the end of the night my friends were ready to leave and I was tired so I told T. I was going to go home and gave him a hug. He wouldn't actually say goodnight to me though, and when I jokingly said, "T. this is when you say, "Goodnight, mnkygirl," he said that was a waste of energy!? So, I just kind of nodded and left b/c I didn't want to make a big deal about his rudeness right then and there. I think he might have wanted to come home with me, but he never actually asked and I had been thinking that since we weren't on a date, then I'd go home alone. (He has slept over in the past, but it's not a 'regular' thing.)
I left the bar and he sent me a text like 10 minutes later saying, "I guess we're done then." I wrote him back and said I wasn't sure why he'd think or say that, but I hoped he didn't mean it, and he wrote back about an hour later saying, "Yeah, I guess we're really done."
Another weird thing that has been happening, unless I'm imagining it, is something between him and his best friend. T. casually mentioned the other day that he hasn't really spent much time with his friend in a couple of weeks, and when I tried to ask him about it and make sure everything was okay, he said everything was fine and there was nothing out of the ordinary.... they had just been busy. However, the best friend knows one of my friends and last week he said to my friend, "Why does she (meaning me) let T. treat her that way?" (Up until the bizarre events of Saturday night I thought T. treated me just fine, by the way) And then on Saturday at the bar when T. and I were standing together the best friend came in and gave me his normal half hug/kiss on the cheek and then said, "Give me a REAL hug" and actually took my drink out of my hand, handed it to T. and gave me a bear hug. I didn't think anything of it at the time because one of T.'s other friends also gave me a giant hug that night and almost knocked me over and T. thought it was really funny, but then I heard about the comment about the friend thinking T. didn't treat me well and now I wonder if somehow they aren't getting along because of me... but, if T. won't tell me anything is wrong, then I don't know what I can do about it... right? I have zero interest in the friend, by the way. I just don't want to cause any trouble between the two of them.
Anyway, I thought maybe T. would call on Sunday and apologize for breaking up with me via text, but nothing... we go to the same gym so complete NC is not really an option, but when I saw him there tonight he just waved and half smiled at me and I sort of waved back and kept running on my treadmill.
I wasn't even sad yesterday because I figured if we really are broken up and he was rude enough to do it in a text message then why should I waste any time missing him, but then after seeing him at the gym tonight, I'm just sad...
I don't know what happened, or why. And I don't think I should try to get a hold of him and ask him to explain himself, right? Shouldn't I just leave him alone and deal with him if/when he wants to apologize/explain this?
Arg, this sucks.

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That's right. It sucks, but if you confront him he'll just get defensive and evasive, and the exchange will leave you even more dissatisfied than you are now. If he decides he wants to make a go of it again, there's nothing preventing him from contacting you. But I wouldn't hold my breath. And I agree with what you said in an earlier post: that if he has such a weak character as to break up with you by text, you don't want him around anyway...
Freelance
Thanks for your response as well, Jamie. Sorry to hear that you were broken up with by text/computer too! I'd heard about this happening... and I'd definitely had a few guys just ghost on me, but for some reason I think I'd been thinking this guy would have handled things more maturely because he knows we're going to run into each other in the future. (stupid assumption, I know) I guess he just didn't have the guts to tell me to my face.
I'm feeling better again this morning though. Last night was rough, and I assume tonight will be too. But, at the moment I have tons of other things to concentrate on, so I'm doing pretty well...