I'm so confused and lost! Please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
I'm so confused and lost! Please help
1
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 12:06pm
I'm just still so confused and lost. Here's my story...My boyfriend and i broke up at the beginning of the month (may). The reason was we argued a lot over little things that he does, and i get over the top made! i realize we needed a break to realize some things, like how much we meant for each other, and we shouldn't be doing this to each other since we love each other so much! He kept begging me to just let this go and work on it, but i tought we really needed a break. Well he agreed but he wanted us to break-up not take a break! He said that it's not his intentions to go out there and "chase skirts". He said his that it's not his intention to hook up with anyone. Then what are his intentions? He said yeah he'll flirt with girls, get there numbers and give out his but that's it. He said he needed some alone time to focus on himself, and get his life together. You see this is a very hard month for him, his dad committed suicide in may and this is the 10 year anniversary. He said that he was 25 and didn't have anything to his name and he wanted to change that! He said being with me made everything really easy on him, and he needs to be less dependant on me. Well we decided not to talk for a month, no contact what so ever (no calls, text, email, etc...). I never really understood the reason why we shouldn't have any contact for a month, was a month suppose to change everything? but i respected his wishes and agreed. Well he called me on the 14th Mothers day, he asked if i could tell my mom happy mothers day, he also wished me one too, you see i was pregnant back in september but it was an eptopic preganacy so i lost the baby.he said it was against out agreement and he was sorry for calling, and then proceeded to tell me that i loves me and misses me, how much he misses my smell, my lips. He asked if i had met anyone, i told him no. he was like "tell me the truth cause i know that guys are always all over you" i told him i even if they were i'm not interest and not. so i aksed him has he? well he told me that he's hung out with a few girls, given his number out, and taken some number but he hasn't kissed anyone or had sex with anyone, and he's not going to. He said a lot of the times when he gets a girls number he really isn't even intersted in calling them. i also told him that i know that come june 1st (our meeting date) he'll just tell me he needs more time. He said to please trust him and have a little faith in him! What does that mean?He said he just wanted to be 24 and go out and have fun! It really hurt my feelings cause he wanted to take this month to make himself a better man then why is he out there meeting random women? He talks to random women to make himself feel wanted when i tell him that i want him and i want us to go to couples counseling to make our relationship better. Why did he call me on mothers day? why did he ask me if i had met anyone?why did he proceed to tell me about all his girls? or did he just do that to get a sense of me? i asked him if he has indeed done anything with anyone to please tell me so that the pain would be less painful for me and he said he's just talking not doing anything more, he doesn't want to isn't and isn't going to. i don't get it, i'm so confused! he says he loves me, misses me, and is still in love with me. What are his intentions? Sometimes i feel like he's afraid to tell me that he doesn't think we have another chance because he's afraid of losing me as a friend, but i've told him that i'd rather be his friend than nothing at all. i also told him that i know that come june 1st (our meeting date) he'll just tell me he needs more time. He said to please trust him and have a little faith in him! What does that mean? He said that don't think that this is the last of US? Please, PLease, PLease help! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank You.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 12:11pm

Hon, you keep writing the same thing...I don't know what different answers you want, but the reality is, only TIME WILL TELL what is going to happen. No one knows the future...not even HE does.

You have a choice: you can stay in limbo until June 1 and see what happens, or you can make a decision TODAY to start moving on. Either choice is valid...it's up to you which one you choose.

Sheri