i'm so sad
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| Mon, 05-09-2005 - 9:15am |
hi,
my boyfriend broke up with me yesterday and i feel so depressed. I was so sure everything was going great. He had been so nice to me and i felt closer than ever to him. And then...he broke up with me. He went away for a couple a day and realize that he was still in love with his ex, with whom he broke up last November because she took a job an Africa and she wont be back till this november. I ask him if she has giving him any sign that she would want to go back with him and he said no. He just feel that he cant move on till she's back. I feel so stupid because i so didnt see that coming. And I felt that things were going great between us. He says that he care about me but wouldnt feel right continuing to see me knowing that he cant offer me what i want. I know there is no chance of us getting back together, but I thought that for once i had a real chance to a serious relationship,

thank you for your words.
I know i shouldnt blame myself, but i keep thinking that somehow i should have known better. I've been hurt so many time, and i find it so hard to trust guys. And this one was different, you know, he was really nice to me, he always called when he said he would, never cancel on me, often told me that he wanted to see me, remembered all the little things i told him about, he was nice to my friends.... Basically, he was a good guy, or so i thought. I mean i know he was sincere and trusthful, but our relationship wasnt enough for him. and i feel like if i cant even trust one the most nice and decent guy i ever met, how can i trust anyone... i feel so empty. i am supposed to be working right know but i cant concentrate, i just keep crying. And i know there is nothing i can do, it's all over and i just dont thing that it is worth it ta take a chance on a relationship to end up feeling like this.
I'm doing somewhat better today , I dont know exaclty what are the stage of grief, but at the moment, i'am more at the anger stage than anything. I feel like calling him and leaving him a really angry message on his voice mail.
i'm still sad and keep saying to myself that i sould have known better than to trust him, but i also know there was no way i could have guess that he still hoping to get back with his ex. I feel like I am a victim, there is nothing i could have done and there is still noting i can do to change the situation. Is that okay that i feel so helpless ? Like this guy just used me and didnt care enough about me to tell me the truth.