I'm sooo lost..I need help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
I'm sooo lost..I need help!!!
4
Mon, 06-26-2006 - 6:10am
Ok...I dunno where to start I'm 26 yrs old,married for 3 years,with him for almost 5 years.My marriage wasn't doing so well since the last year but I never filed for divorce because of my son...Ok the story started when..I dunno how and what happened but I fell inlove with the person I work with.Ok, in other words I did had an affair.I worked with this guy for almost 5 years now and for some reason we did fell inlove like 4 months ago, and take note...he's married too,very unhappy.Everything was so great at first,I felt like Im alive again,this guy is so sweet,very loving.He calls me almost everyday just to see how I am doing,giving me kiss all the time,It was so great..The problem started when he went for vacation for a seminar for 6 weeks,he promised me he will see me often because his wife is not coming with him,but I dont know what happened?he calls me like only once a wweek now,We've only went to dinner once since he left (its been 4 weeks now).Its been almost a week since he called me...What should I do?He's always making excuses why he hasnt call me...This past few days that he hasnt call,I told myself I will do anything to forget him,thats the reason I found this site...Its very hard but I can feel Im doing it....maybe because I dont see him anymore.....but my big problem is...he's coming back to work in two weeks!!!I keep telling myself I did let go of him but what should I do if I see him again?To tell you guys the truth...Im still in denial...I think I still love him so much!...How should I deal with him when he comes back?I work with him 12 hours a day, 5 days a week...Please guys Im so confuseddd...pls advice me what to do.I do need you help guys.....thanks.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
Mon, 06-26-2006 - 9:13am

Maybe you fell in love, but I don't think he did. My suggestion is to behave professionally (you're at work, after all), and act friendly. If you run into him, make small talk and ask him how his trip/seminar went. Do NOT grill him about why he hasn't called you. You guys don't have a relationship, you just have sex once in awhile. He doesn't owe you anything and he doesn't have to answer to you. He only owes that to his WIFE, and you are NOT his wife.

I'm not going to get into how it's very wrong for you to cheat on your husband...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Mon, 06-26-2006 - 4:24pm

The only thing I can say is move past this guy, treat him as a coworker nothing else, and concentrate either on your marriage or on your divorce.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 1:58am
hi.thanks for the advice,you know you were very right, I tried to forget about this guy,I changed my number,try not to think about him...but it was so hardd...knowing that I would see him again you know...and actually Im here at work right now...working with him...he told me he was trying to call me and why I changed my number...and when I told him that were done, he said..I dont think so?...what does he meant by that?To tell you the truth its very hard workin with him,I feel like crying and just go home but I have a family to feed you know,I still love him, I know but what should I do to forget him?It waS easier when he was not here but now hes back I dont know what to do...please give me more advice,about my marriage,believe me I tried to work it out with my husband but for some reason everything will be fine for a moment tthen he will be this bad guy again,we did went for counselling before because he was hurting me physically...that was solved he's not hurting me anymore but his bad attitude is still there....pls help me I really love this guy that I work with but I dont know if he does...how could I ever forget about him when Im here almost everyday with him?pls help...thanks a lot.
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 3:14am

Fairyrose, I'm not sure you're even going to read this because I noticed your first post was from way back in June, but I'll post anyway on the off chance that you check in. I'm sorry for all the pain you're going through. I recommend two ivillage boards which may be better suited for your situation. If you are determined to end this affair, try the Ending My Affair Support Board at:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlending

The people on there are GREAT and they know what you're going through because they are all trying to leave affairs that have devastated their lives. They will support you through the dark days that lie ahead if you decide to leave your lover.

If you just can't leave now for whatever reason and decide to continue your affair, try the My Affair Support Board at:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlmyaffair

Hugs to you. I hope you things are better than when you first posted.