I'm sooooo stupid!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
I'm sooooo stupid!!!
2
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 6:24pm
Before i begin this little tirade i just want to appologise to anyone i may offend by my recent stupid behaviour. Ok, i have always said that i would never date a married man, firstly because i would not want to do that to another woman, secondly i would not want that done to me and thirdly i have too much self respect. At least i thought i did., in brief, i began dating this man who i work with, he had seperated from his wife and was aware that i would not begin seeing him until he was single. He was just one of those people i clicked with,things got quite serious quite quickly, we even talked about having children (believe me this is a first for me, at 31 i have always loathed children and firmly felt that they should be locked under the stairs until 18!!!). Anyway after a couple of months he tells me that he is going back to his wife. He says that he does not love her and is only staying with her to prove his family and friends wrong and that it is a doomed relationship. (Yes.....i know!). The other issue with our relationship was that he is from a diffrent culture and this in part was why he wanted to go back. My family are delighted as he was not 'what they wanted for their daughter'. Anyway, after 2 weeks of 'giving him a chance'(yes....we have reached the realms of complete idiot now) i called him and finished it, he said that he loves me and knows he is probably making the biggest mistake of his life. I know i have done the right thing and that he is a spineless twat so why do i feel like someone has removed my insides with a rusty spaghetti fork????????? Plus i now have to work with him......(again......stupid) Arrrghhhhh................
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 4:12pm
I did the same thing, twice, at the same job! The first guy was a married guy, he turned into a psycho after his wife found out, confronted me, i told her what he told me, that he was leaving her blah blah blah, he then turned it around on me, that I wouldnt leave him alone, he had to give in, and she believed him! So then he started doing things to try to get me fired, for her benefit no doubt, which ended up backfiring and he got fired for harassing me. Then about a year later(which is this year) i became really good friends with this other guy at work, single, younger but a breath of fresh air after what i just went thru, got all caught up in him and his family, talked about marriage and was told about a month ago that he was just caught up in the heat of the moment, that he didnt want to get married, wasnt ready for it, but still wanted to see me because I could still be "the one" he just didnt know yet, so like an idiot i hung in there for a couple months more, hoping to be the one, only to find out that he was seeing someone else and i guess he didnt want to let go of one until he was sure about the other, so i told him to get lost, have to see him everyday, wondering if i made the right decision, maybe I would have been the one he chose to be with, but did I want to continue to wonder everyday If i was number one or number two? I second guess myself everyday, it really sucks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 4:45pm

You are both strong ladies for telling him to take a hike! Everyone chooses bad partners every now and then. You did what you thought was best at the time - don't beat yourself up! I hope you have faith that there a great people out there just waiting for you - now go get 'em, ladies! :) Best wishes!

--hurtingbutstrong