I'm sorry I went back, broke up again
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| Tue, 12-26-2006 - 1:16pm |
I am sorry ladies. I am disgusted with myself. What is wrong with me? Today I am in extreme pain once again; I went back on the drug again. I am sorry I have to disappoint you wonderful ladies that gave me all that great advice. I went back 2 weeks ago with my ex-boyfriend and it was worse, there was so much drama, I ready to tell you ladies the truth:
Let’s start with I know you are all going to scream at me. He is married. He is and was supposed get divorced for the last year, that’s what he told me and I fell for it over, over and over again. I also isolated everyone that tried to tell me this is a bad guy. Leave him, he is lying to you, wake up. We know he loves you, but until he leaves his wife what do you really have? And what’s make you think he is not going to do it to you when you marry him? The sick part to this whole thing the wife knew about me and still held on to him hoping we would break-up. Or maybe the truth is he was telling her a stories and me.
When I was with him last week the wife knew he was with me, he got home at 11:00pm she questioned him about being with me(I’m sure he denied it). The next day she apologized for questioning him where he was. People are you kidding me. I need to be lucky I am not stuck with at home with no money and 2 of his kids.
So this weekend there was an intervention from my brothers this past weekend.
The story goes;
My ex-boyfriend’s partner who is also married living with another woman(who was my friend and threw me under the bus months ago)but his wife is in another country with his children. The partner called my brothers this weekend and told all these lies about me, so he can break us up. He probably did me a favor. A month ago my ex-boyfriend tried to get rid of his partner because he does not do any work while my ex-boyfriend works 10 hours a day. (That is another story) and his partner knows that I have great influence on My ex-boyfriend getting him out of the partnership, so he wanted to get rid of me. So he called my brothers and said all these lies, which worked, my brothers had a major intervention and talk with me where I was embarrassed of myself and my actions. Because if you know me, this is not me, but when you heart is involved you can’t control your actions.
My older brother said to me, “Do you want to marry a dirt-bag? You will be a dirt-bag and live your life as a dirt-bag. These people are liars and scumbags. Our family are nothing like these people. Is that what you want?" Of course I said no. My brother said he still married right? I said no, he said don’t lie to me, I will cut the money off to your company, (My brother has financed my company)
I have to just admit I’ve been manipulated and verbally abused.
Of course my ex-boyfriend promised me Friday he would leave for good on Christmas and finally spend his life with me. Guess what did not even hear from him. Since all this drama went down. I thought to myself this is a gift he did not leave Is this what you want? Really? The past 2 months my intuition was screaming at me, these questions.
Everything around him is negative and lies, even the way he runs his business he is constantly lying to people to get money invested in his business and misuses the funds, without these people knowing.
I have to keep putting that in my head to get over this and out of this, he is a liar he will always be, men don’t change and this is who he is.
Please god just give me the strength to get through this week.

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with the insight given additionally maybe you can find your own answers with few questions: -if anyone can think of any thought provoking questions of importance please add:
you can keep these andswers to yourself of cousre, but Iknow my questiosn could be better
1) where are you in your life right now, and why do you think this is happening?
2) if things were different, how would they need to be, in order for this person who you know logically is not the best for you, in order for you to do the things that make you happy?
3) what are those things that make you happy that have worked or you have;nt tried and been meaning to do/ or you refrain yourself from doing?
4) if you said forget about the guys what are the the things that you would need to do to give yourself a tremendous or even a little amount of satisfaction and therefore newly refound confidence?
5) is'nt the art of dsitraction in a postive and constructive sense the best for your mindest and your overall health and happiness?
6)what immediate things do you need to take care of and after those small things are done can you getaway with a few friends on even a weekend like vacation (planned activities)
7) have you considered that maybe your not ready for a realtionship just yet, as you may need time for yourself to love yourself and how so is this so true?
8) if you dont want to do that, and without involving/touching-lol-that's how I get, would going to a speed dating singles event be an interesting experience?
9) can you keep yourself busy enough to not think about it? sometimes I've read that , thinkin and delving into things only makes matters worse
it's true ttoo-you know it and I know it-let's not be victims to this knowledege
dude!
"painful illusiion" is the term man!
wont forget-thanks it's gold
Hi Dgirrl,
You are right. But one thing I have to say is it's his child to and he should be responsible to pay for his child. He has an obilgation, I do not care if you make a million dollars a year.
I almost wanted to e-mail him today. And I was saying F-him, he wants he knows where to ocntact him. But your right I did get the urge.
Had some more drama, with his peice of sh-t partner and his girlfirend but I got the last laugh, I filed a stalking order against both of them there is a law, if calls me more importantly anyone in my family, beacuse he said he was going to call my brothers and father and was not going to stop until he destroys me. Gave the e-mail to my local police.
Police said there is a law if he or his girlfriend contacts me or any of members of my family, they will automatically be arrested. So I was happy about that, I closed the window of revenge on them. His partner and his girlfriend have had a vendetta against me since February.
But I bet my last dollar the partner told my ex-boyfreind, that I also put him the stalking police order which I did not, so to make sure we have no contact, that is the partner's main goal. What disgusting negative people.
I hope you have plans for New Years Eve. Happy and Healthy, and 2007 is going to be one of our best.
Yes this about my ex(the married one who suppose to get a divorce yeah right), his partner was the one I went too the police about.
Your right drama, drama and negativety who needs it.
I need to move on.
Hi Dgirrl and Everybody I hope everybody had a great New Year.
Need support today.
I made my first week and a half. My fingers and toes and all parts of my body are still attached. HA HA HA
I had a New Years Eve Party at my house with 3 other girlfriends who all are coming out of break-up we had alot of fun though we bonded we talked about our ex's and said after Midnight we can't talk about them(our ex-boyfriends).it was like a scene out of the MOvie " WAITING TO EXHALE"
I will say I was hurt when he did not even Text me to say Happy New Year, If had to put my money on it I bet he went to sleep beacuse he was miserable.
Yesterday he called me it rang twice and he hung up I did not answer it. My niece and my niece's Boyfreind said to me he is trying to trick you to call him and to let you he is thinking about you.
Your opinions, on my neice and her boyfriends comment.
Also today I must honestly say I feel weak I want to e-mail him so bad. Need your strength.
Thanks Girls
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