I'm A Sweet Girl & I Still Created a Love Triangle
Find a Conversation
|Thu, 12-05-2013 - 12:27am|
I was in a serious relationship with (let's call him) Steven for almost 3 years. We dated in college, and then lived together for a little over a year. We are so compatible that I'm pretty sure we created our own language--inside jokes were fully apart of this relationship. We loved living with each other, because we were each other's best friends, but when I got an opportunity to better my career in another city, he did not want to move. The moving situation was really just a disguise that there were a few, but big, issues that made us question our future together (mainly religion - he disliked the idea of it and I'm very devout in my faith). Getting nervous about marriage is pretty normal for 25 year olds I would say, especially since both our parents are divorced. Ultimately, our breakup was not due to falling out of love, but simply because of "what ifs" and well, he got complacent.
After only 4 months of dating new people and enjoying the single life, I met a guy in my apartments. (Let's call him Tim). He was the complete opposite of Steven. Steven thinks I am beautiful at all times (even in the morning), knows how to calm me down when I got upset, and he loved football as much as I do. (Plus we went to the same school so we love the same team)! However, Tim is less dramatic, has a great career, and loves to drink beer as much as I do. They both have what the other doesn't! Although I was ready to move on from Steven, and I was actually quite over him when I met Tim, for some reason Tim is making me miss Steven! Tim is so mellow we don't laugh nearly as much or make inside jokes; he doesn't care for football; and he doesn't make me FEEL as special as Steven did. But Steven is still finding a solid career, he hates to go to bars and meet new people, and he liked everything his way.
HERE COMES THE TRICKY PART:
Steven happened to get a job that forced him to the city I just moved to, so both Tim and Steven are in the same city as me now. Steven really really wants to get back together, and I do want to make things work. HOWEVER, Tim and I have INCREDIBLE sex. The best I have ever had - we just get each other in bed. He is fit, and cares about physical appearance like me. (Sorry, I'm a dietitian, it's imbedded in me). The shallow part gets worse & I hate that I'm like this, but Steven has gained 40 pounds since we started dating 3 years ago. So I'm no longer sexually attracted to him, and the fact that Tim outdid Steven in bed makes it harder for me to want to give Steven another try. It doesn't mean I don't love Steven, but I'm just not sexually attracted to him anymore like I am with Tim. I never realized that appearance really does get me aroused in bed.
THIS IS WHY I NEED HELP:
When I met up with Steven this weekend, we just clicked. I belong in his arms; I'm meant to make jokes with him; and I definitely miss him. But I still didn't feel the sexual attraction that I feel when I'm with Tim. I need your help because, well, Tim is wanting to move in together...(This is extremely fast, but there's a lot of other factors that are making him NEED a roommate), and Steven has been calling me for a few minutes everyday to show interest in making things work. NOTE: There's a chance Tim might be moving to another state, and there's also a chance that Steven might not make the effort to make things work at any given moment. (Complacency is a real issue for Steven). And don't get me wrong - I really do like Tim! We always have a great time together.
OPINIONS &/OR EXPERIENCE? Ready-Set-Go!