I'm totally confused..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2007
I'm totally confused..
1
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 3:33am
My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago. It was sudden, no signs, nothing. He was at my house and we were fine.. we watched a movie, kissed, cuddled.. etc. Not an hour after he had left my house we were both online and we were just talking.. out of nowhere an argument starts, and he breaks up with me. He tells me his "feelings have changed", and that he's not ready for a relationship. He thinks this is best for us both right now and that if we're meant to be, we will be. His mom calls and talks to me, and she said he was fine when he left to come to my house that night... he asked her if she was still keeping my daughter so we could go to the Braves game, that was actually this past Saturday.
Well, my ex is the type of guy that when he is done with a relationship he is completely done. "Don't text, don't call, don't speak to me". He has nothing at all to do with you, he's always been that way. He has texted and called me ever since. He gets in these mood swings, and he'll be angry toward me and tell me we talk 24/7 and in my head, I'm thinking.. YOU message me! But I never say that.. and then he'll get mad and tell me to never speak to him again, so when I don't, before the night is over, he has contacted me.
We have a phone bill together that is in his name, a gym membership together in my name, we have keys to each other's cars, and he has a carseat, toys, and stroller in his car for my daughter. When he gets mad at me he tells me he is going to call and do a transfer of service on my line, or he will cancel it, but he never does. And this has only been twice he has said that. So he leaves my line on his account. He told me at first he was going to go and get his own membership, but he never went.. and so that is the same. He has made an effort to see me 5 or 6 times in the 2 weeks we have been broken up.. and he uses my car key, so he knows he has it.. but doesn't offer to exchange them since we have no reason to have them now. And my daughter's car seat and all are still in his car, he hasn't bothered to take them out and give them back. His mom said all my pictures are still hanging up in his room, and I haven't seen or looked, but I'm sure they are still in his wallet. He isn't talking to any one else.. he goes to work, goes to the gym, and goes home every day. His mom said he's kind of gloomy walking in and out. He has went out one time in the past 2 weeks, last Saturday he came and saw me and spent time with me at my house. He had invites to go hang with his friends, and he chose to see me. He kissed me and told me how much he still loves me, but then the next day he will tell me I made him do that. You can't make someone do that, they do it on their own! And tonight, he invited me to go with him tomorrow to get some stuff... yet he accused me of doing things to his stuff online and yelled at me this morning, so I didn't speak to him the rest of the day. He blocked his number and called some people I have been talking to.. just to see who it was last night.
I've prayed about this.. and the only conclusion I have came to is that this is not what he really wants. He's not the kind of person to just hang on to someone at all. And if he planned on dating other people, none of that would look good. And to top it off, he's asked me to spend time with him on his birthday in a few weeks.
Maybe he got overwhelmed with the fact I do have a daughter.. we dated for a year. And maybe, things sunk in and he just wants to make sure this is what he wants and he is prepared for.. I don't really know.
Every conclusion I draw though, and my gut tells me, is that what he SAYS to me isn't at all what he really means and feels. He can't say those things looking at me, only in text messages. When he is with me in person, he is different.. himself. He looks at me with those loving eyes, and you can just tell he really loves me. He waits to hug me when I leave.. and he texts me every morning on his way to work. The only thing that is different is we don't say "I love you". Maybe someone else can understand the situation and what is going on. I'm just extremely confused about it! Please help!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 09-03-2007 - 7:17pm

Welcome to the board brookie0320,


These boards are pretty slow on the weekends and I only have a few minutes online today....so I wanted to give you some links to some good info:


How To Get Over Your Breakup