Thanks for your time. As I wrote in the third sentence there was a communication problem which is why I sought help from my friends and from here... The details I provided were intended to illustrate the difference between my ex's words and behavior and why I was so confused. After reading over the post I see that some of the details may have been inappropriate to some and I apologize for that; bragging was the furthest thing from my mind. Frankly, the entire post was essentially free flow and therapeutic to me. What you see as immaturity reminiscent of Dawson's Creek could perhaps be better described as the symptoms of insecurity, defensiveness, suffering, confusion, desperation,,, you know, the sort of behavior people exhibit when they're heartbroken.
"Whether or not you really love each other- doesn't really matter."
What's important is that I love my ex with all my heart and believe in us so much that I am completely willing to understand and learn and work and resolve the problems between us so that we can grow and have a successful marriage. The alternative is to give up, move on, let our weaknesses define us, and never grow...
I saw only the edited posts and the responses. Being that the responses are all over the place advice-wise, and that you've deleted your original post, it leads me to believe that maybe you didn't get the support or insight you'd hoped for. For that I'm sorry. At the same time, I want you to realize that a great many of the women on this board are on here for the very fact that their significant others would not or could not commit, and their input to you may very well be skewed with pain and anger and coming from the "other side of the coin." It happens.
I for one would welcome to opportunity to 'see' what's going on in the mind of a man who is unable, confused or otherwise hesitant to commit, and under what circumstances could that change. But that's me.
Without really knowing your story, I can tell you that almost any woman worth her salt would hesitate to get into or rekindle a relationship with you when it seems, for all intents and purposes to the outside world, that you are actually forging a relationship with someone else.
Ultimately, your life is your own, realize it doesn't just happen to us, we each create our own realities. Think about that and then act upon it, however that ends up being.
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Thanks for your time. As I wrote in the third sentence there was a communication problem which is why I sought help from my friends and from here... The details I provided were intended to illustrate the difference between my ex's words and behavior and why I was so confused. After reading over the post I see that some of the details may have been inappropriate to some and I apologize for that; bragging was the furthest thing from my mind. Frankly, the entire post was essentially free flow and therapeutic to me. What you see as immaturity reminiscent of Dawson's Creek could perhaps be better described as the symptoms of insecurity, defensiveness, suffering, confusion, desperation,,, you know, the sort of behavior people exhibit when they're heartbroken.
"Whether or not you really love each other- doesn't really matter."
What's important is that I love my ex with all my heart and believe in us so much that I am completely willing to understand and learn and work and resolve the problems between us so that we can grow and have a successful marriage. The alternative is to give up, move on, let our weaknesses define us, and never grow...
Edited 5/18/2007 5:59 pm ET by attiicuss
We all have different opinions and it's ok to disagree.
I didn't see the unedited post, but thank you for proving my point exactly.
I saw only the edited posts and the responses. Being that the responses are all over the place advice-wise, and that you've deleted your original post, it leads me to believe that maybe you didn't get the support or insight you'd hoped for. For that I'm sorry. At the same time, I want you to realize that a great many of the women on this board are on here for the very fact that their significant others would not or could not commit, and their input to you may very well be skewed with pain and anger and coming from the "other side of the coin." It happens.
I for one would welcome to opportunity to 'see' what's going on in the mind of a man who is unable, confused or otherwise hesitant to commit, and under what circumstances could that change. But that's me.
Without really knowing your story, I can tell you that almost any woman worth her salt would hesitate to get into or rekindle a relationship with you when it seems, for all intents and purposes to the outside world, that you are actually forging a relationship with someone else.
Ultimately, your life is your own, realize it doesn't just happen to us, we each create our own realities. Think about that and then act upon it, however that ends up being.
Best,
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