I'm trying...is it a waste of time??????
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| Wed, 08-04-2004 - 9:48pm |
I broke up with him about 2 weeks ago but only because I felt that was what he wanted but didnt have the heart to do. This is not what I want. He says he has been feeling unhappy with us and cant seem to figure out why. (For the whole story read previous posts) We decided to take things day by day. I am getting very mixed messages. He tells me he still loves me, when we are together he says that it feels right to him, he looks at me with the same love and affection as always if not more. We agreed on taking turns to call each other so its not one of us making all the effort and we dont have to play any of those "who should call" games.
Sometimes when we talk he gets distant and I feel disconnected and other times he is completely normal. Once he forgot to call me b/c he was busy and the other night he never answered my call. Then today he went out of his way to call me and let me know that he was going to a meeting and couldnt respond to my email so I didnt think he was ignoring me. Its like Jekyll and Hyde. I am getting mixed messages. I dont understand what is going on around me and its very draining. I dont think he has commitment issues but something is going on and I am starting to wonder... am i waisting my time? Will it get better?
I know I am probably reading too much into it. I mean I am a teacher so I am not working right now but he still is so sometimes he is busy and tired. We hung out about 3 or 4 times in the past 2.5 weeks and each time has gone well but last night was the first time i felt some awkwardness. I feel like something is missing. like he isnt telling me something. i dont think there is someone else. I was thinking about talking to his friend (mutual friend but closer to my BF than me) for his opinion since he has talked to him about this but I am afraid that my BF will be mad.
I just needed to vent and see if anyone had and insight or encouragement :/. He is making efforts but I am just unsure and insecure right now. Thanks in advance.

I am a teacher, too... so summers give us WAY too much time to analyze things. I am in a similiar situation... although, not exactly. I have tried pretty much every piece of advice out there. I never thought the no-contact thing was a good idea... why would you want to cut someone out of your life that you love so much? But so far, it has worked the best. Although, I think about him all the time... it makes things easier. I don't have to get all worked up over things between us anymore. It also gives him space to figure out what he really needs/ wants.
I just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us ALL of the time and is alwaus willing to give us all of them.
I tried for a long, long time and it just made it so much harder on me. It seems as though the times I do back off, he would come around.
We are all different, but from my experiences I would suggest just back off for awhile so that you do not set yourself up for more hurt. Do things that make you happy and if it is meant to be... he will come around.
Good luck! I know how you feel! Hang in there!