Incredibly Confused
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| Wed, 04-05-2006 - 10:41am |
I've been lurking on this board for a couple weeks now and feel a need to get some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for five years. We've broken up twice but both times have found our way back to each other. We have done so much, seen so much and grown so much together that he has become such a huge part of me and I can't imagine my life without him. So here's the problem. Last December, we had a really long talk and I asked him if he saw us getting engaged within the next year and he said that he saw that happening. The end of January we started going ring shopping and finally bought one. I knew we weren't getting engaged right away but I thought it was going to happen. We started talking about moving in together, started looking for apartments and all the sudden he freaked out. He told me he isn't sure he wants to move in with me and doesn't know why. Then, all the sudden out of the blue, he tells me that he isn't sure about his feelings for me, doesn't see us working out and isn't sure if he's still in love with me. He wants to take it one day at a time and see how we are together but I feel like everytime we talk, I feel worse and worse. I should also tell you t hat he has a history with depression and has always had a hard time dealing with stress. I need some advice. What would you guys do? I love him so much and pictured myself with him for the rest of my life.
I appreciate your input.
Thanks,
Catgirl

You will learn this is not an uncommon occurence... it's just unfortunate you've been thru it. A lot of us have experienced the pain of loving (or trying) a c-phobe. There are several "types" and you will learn this is *their* weirdo issues, not you being too loving, not enough, not pretty enough, smart enough, etc. The book will help you thru this time, trust me.
if you love him BE PATIENCE. DONT RUSH...YOU MIGHT SCARED HIM AWAY!! JUST GIVE THE FREEDOM THAT HE WANT RIGHT NOW. ANYWAYS YOU NEVER KNOW MONTHS/YEARS FROM NOW HE WILL COMMIT TO YOU AND THE GOOD THING THERE IS HIS TOTALLY 100% YOURS.
GUYS ARE LIKE THAT!!! STAGE BY STAGE THEY CHANGE. TRUST ME.
GOOD LUCK