Input needed from Pianoguy!!!!
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| Mon, 01-23-2006 - 10:37am |
Pianoguy,
How are you? I need a man's perspective on things and was wondering whenver you have time if you can read my quite lengthy post....called MY Story Long... I would really appreciate your feedback you seem to post quite honestly and clearly.
Since I last posted that lengthy post I spoke to my ex last week and we had a heartfelt talk about our relationship. We left off quite well and I told him that I am not angry with him and I do truly hope that he fixes whatever he has in his life that is hurting him. The hard part I am having with all this is the ending of our phone call with....Are you going to be home tonight, I will call you if I do not get home too late. If not next weekend we will get togethor for a hike or coffee. Would you like that he asked me? So offcouse I said yes and I have not heard from him. When I spoke to him on Sunday I put all of my cards on the table because I did not want to cut off my nose to spite my face and I did not hear from him. I will not call again, it was surprising I even called once to talk about us. It just hurts because he made it a point to say let's get togethor and never followed through.
I guess I am needed a man's perspective....Whenever you have time to read that long post after this I would appreciate your comments!!
Have a great day!
Paula

Hi Paula!
First...your post wasn't that lengthy! Pianoguy has read through other posts that ran up to 5 times as long!!!
Anyway....here's a male point of view.
Whenever a man isn't completely sure about his feelings for a woman, he'll utter the usual: "I'll call you tomorrow, Sunday, or next week" response in order to make a quick get-away! When a man is in the middle of (or senses) an uncomfortable situation about to arise, it's a lot easier for him to use those words than waiting for the (possibility of) the worst to happen.
Granted...IT'S NOT FAIR TO YOU (or any woman)! But unfortunately...there are some women who pull this same crap on men. .
Suggestion?
Let a few weeks or possibly a month pass for separation. Your EX will either make the phone call or send you an email...assuming that he wants to? But you certainly DON'T have to wait around for either to happen. Go about your business as if the man never existed!
If you feel you need to date somebody else...GO FOR IT! But date ONLY "out of friendship" without expecting anything serious to develop with any 'potential prospects!'
Hope this helps you....at least a little?
Pianoguy
Hi Pianoguy,
Thanks so much for responding to my post. I really do appreciate the input and the time you took to read it. Thanks for the male perspective on things! I really was not shocked that my ex decided to avoid things, from my larger post it was clear that he tended to run from things and I guess I am one of the things that he is still avoiding in his life. I have to say though that I am hurt by his choice of doing things this way because I really am a pretty good person to talk to about things and try to be understanding. At this time in my life after being with a man for 3 years who just turned 40. I would have thought things would have been different.
I am going to keep going forward in my life. At the moment I am really not interested in dating. I am just hiking with a guy friend on the weekend and I am enjoying the friendship without worrying about things developing. I am also making sure I spend time with my friends and family. I am fortunate in that regard where I have a lot of outlets to get things out to.
I will not call my ex again, it was a one shot deal on my part. I could not be more clear to him and I really have not hate for him. If this is how he chooses to handle things it is truly his loss. I would never do this but you cannot always expect people to live up to your standards.
Have a wonderful day!!
Paula