Inside my head

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Inside my head
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 4:20pm
It's been a tough 2006 for me, I found out our closest family friend (basically me second mom) is dying of cancer, the next week my father had a heart attack and the week after my boyfriend of a year & 1/2 broke up with me for another girl, though he claimed it was cuz he needed to be on his own and just didnt love me like that anymore.. real fun... anyways I do no contact and 4 months later when I just think im starting to really move on my younger brother gets in a car accident and should of died (thank God he didnt) the very next morning my grandmother who lived with my family since I was 3 and basically helped raised me passed away. Needless to say my emotions and heart have been through alot this year. In many ways I'm thankful, my lil bro lived, my father came out relatively unscathed from his heart attack. I don't really know why I'm posting all this but it just seems that everytime I start to begin to get over the breakup something happens that sets me back makes my heart hurt again. I just can't seem to get over this boy, issues I thought I had worked through got stirred up again once the whole brother/ grandma issue took place. How can your heart heal when it keeps getting hurt. I am unable to focus on healing because theres so much to heal from/ deal with. I know its only 4 months and people deal at different rates. I think I'm at the point where its just sadness from missing what we were and what we could have been. Not the deep physical burst into tears pain anymore... I dunno if anyone else has some thoughts or experience with dealing w/ multiple heart ache that may help... or maybe I just needed to write this all down instead of keeping it inside. Not sure but thanks for reading....