Interesting turn of events
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| Fri, 03-09-2007 - 9:48am |
All of a sudden, I have a blind date tonight. A co-worker of my brother-in-law. Thankfully my sister & her hubby are going with us - we are going to dinner & out to bowl a few games.
I don't really understand why, but, I am feeling guilty about this. I broke things off with the ex last week, and told him I needed time to think things through and that I wasn't sure if I made the right decision. The last time I spoke to him, I was still unsure about our future and told him I would call him in a few weeks. We were supposed to be in a "NO CONTACT" mode for the next 2 weeks after we split last Thurs, but I didn't follow the rules and called him anyhow (however, today is my 3rd day of NO CONTACT). Every time we talked, he got more upset and said more and more hurtful things to me.
On one hand, I see nothing wrong with going to dinner & bowling with someone (after all, we are broke up). I'm NOT ready to start dating seriously, and I'm NOT looking for a rebound, but I don't want to sit on my butt at home being miserable either. On the other, I know that if I found out the ex was going on a blind date a week after we broke up, I'd be livid and hurt.
I truly don't know why I left things 'open-ended' with the ex by saying I'd call him in a few weeks - I don't see things miraculously changing in 14 days, so why bother? Do I even HAVE to call him, if I feel like it's only going to make me more miserable?
HELP!!!!

Also wanted to add that I really DON'T want to talk to the ex in 2 weeks. But, I'm afraid if I don't call him, he'll call me. Sure, I can ignore him and not answer the phone (which is totally out of character for me).
It hurts, it sucks, and I KNOW it will be very hard, but, I made it 45 days of no contact last time. I was moving on, I was healthier (lost 30 lbs since November), I was happier. This last game of 'touch and go' has really opened my eyes. Maybe I'm doing this 'blind date' to spite my ex? I don't know. I just really don't know if I am doing the right thing. I have no expectations of tonight turning into ANYTHING - I'm not ready for that.
I guess maybe I'm scared that the ex will find out about it and get pissed/angry and decide to be a total dickhead or start calling me names. I guess, yeah, that's probably it in a nutshell: about 30 minutes after I broke up with him, I freaked out, called him back and said maybe I was wrong and maybe we should work things out. I asked for time (2 wks or so) to think things over, and now here I am, getting set up on a blind date. I think that that is what is making me feel guilty - like I told him I 'wasn't sure' just because I wasn't ready to let go/move on...but deep down, I think I was, but just couldn't bear it to COMPLETELY break all contact.
HELP! I feel like I'm rambling...I hope someone is listening/reading...
Hi northern_lites,
If you are sure you are done with your ex and since you don't want to call your ex in 2 weeks, because you are afraid of his reaction, send him an email or leave him a voice mail.