ISSUE #2

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2004
ISSUE #2
22
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 11:54am

I met a guy a little over two weeks ago. He is really nice and attractive and he likes me A LOT. However I dont feel like there is enough in common for our relationship to grow together and I really dont want to hurt him or become the "bad" one in the end for knowing this now and ignoring it. Moreover I have a "sense" he may have emotional issues.

So we have seen eachother about 6 or so times. We have NOT been intimate besides for kissing. He is supposed to come over tonight but I dont think I should sustain this anymore with him. I've already met his dad - we went out on his family's boat last weekend.

My birthday is coming up in the next couple of days and Im afraid he is gonna do something for me and if I dont break it off now and Im going to feel soooooooooo bad, as if I'm using him for compoany KNOWING that our thing wont go anywhere.

HELP HELP HELP!!!

BTW - this new guy knows I saw my ex last weekend and knows exactly what happened. I had to tell him because I thought he needed to know what was going on with me. He was understanding and responded by asking me to promise not to hurt him like that again . I said I couldn't promise that but I would never intentionally do anything to hurt him.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: isadimple
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 12:09pm

Ending it now would be the best thing to do, IMO, since you are pretty clear in your mind that you don't see this going anywhere.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2004
In reply to: isadimple
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 12:17pm
But How??? How do I do it? Should I do it tonight?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: isadimple
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 12:27pm

I think that since you've only dated for a short time, a phone call is acceptable (as opposed to doing it in person). Yes, do it tonight...the sooner, the better.

I would just keep it simple...I've enjoyed spending time with you but I just don't think we are a good match for a relationship.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2006
In reply to: isadimple
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 12:39pm
Yes, definitely agree with Sheri...the sooner the better and short and sweet...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
In reply to: isadimple
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 5:17pm

Totally agree, the quicker you end it the less it will hurt, although at two weeks, I'm wondering if there will be any hurt at all, and if there is on his part, Definitely cut the strings now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2004
In reply to: isadimple
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 5:32pm

Thanks, I will do that. Im so nervous. I think he will be hurt cause he seems to REALLY like me - I can just tell and I haven't been distant with him or anything like that and I've said I like him too, which is true - but I dont see a future between the two of us. I'm sure.

So this is what I plan to say: THAT I HAVE BEEN HAVING A REALLY GOOD TIME WITH HIM AND THINK HE IS GREAT BUT IM PRETTY SURE THAT WE AREN'T RIGHT FOR EACHOTHER, THAT WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH IN COMMON FOR ME TO SEE A REAL FUTURE BETWEEN US AND THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP IS WHAT I AM AIMING FOR AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE.

how is that?

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: isadimple
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 5:46pm

It's too long. Keep it short and sweet, like Sherri said. And don't explain yourself too much. After two weeks you don't have to. It's not like you've been together for two or three months.

I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't feel we're a good match. I'm sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2004
In reply to: isadimple
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 5:53pm

Oh god Im so nervous and worked up about this. He just left me a voice mail saying hello and I think he started to say I "love" you but stopped himself.

Im also worried about how he will take it because he may have emotional issues. Im at work right now so Im going to wait until about a half hour after I get home to do this.

AHHHHH

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
In reply to: isadimple
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 6:06pm

Short and sweet.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: isadimple
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 6:28pm

Way, way TOO much, IMO!!!

And too uncertain as well. Be definitive in your opinion that the two of you are not a match...no ambivalence.

Sheri

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