issue with (ex) boyfriend
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| Sun, 11-13-2005 - 9:07am |
Hello,
Some of you have read my previous posts regarding my ex...well I have a new development that I need some advice on, thanks in advance!!!
My ex and I were together for just over a year, this past June we broke up but got back together a month later (July) but we broke up again a month later (early August). Our relationship was very complex during the year that we were together, a lot of arguments which I think stemmed from miscommunication. Getting back together after a month was a mistake on its own (as some on this board told me). So we did not speak until Labor Day weekend (a month after the break up)and basically he told me what he saw on my birthday weekend about 3 weeks prior: me kissing a friend of mine. I didn't know he was at the same lounge as me and basically he saw me all over my friend.
So fast forward 2 months (now). We have been talking to each other this whole time, mostly me being on his case constantly about getting back together(except for the past about 2 weeks I have just let it go and not hassled him over it at all) and him saying he does not want to date anyone and that he needs time. I understand if I had seen him kiss another girl, I might have a hard time coming to terms with it. Also, since we broke up (and after what he saw) he has refused to kiss me on the lips (I have tried to kiss him), saying it just isn't the same for him anymore after seeing what he did. He also kept on saying that "just relax and let's see what happens in the weeks and months to come", so I just basically let it go and decided to take it as it comes.
So last night, he called me back early evening after I had called him Friday night because I wanted to ask him something. We talked for a while about regular things and I asked him what he had planned for the night. He said he wasn't going out, so I said "so let's hang out" (we have hung out almost weekly since we broke up). So we met up for some drinks and even though he HIMSELF had said many times before he does NOT want to discuss our relationship any further and we are STRICTLY friends, nothing more. So when we were sitting there he kept on bringing up our relationship, and we talked about the things we did wrong but I said "it doesn't matter anymore what I did wrong" and he said "I am just giving you a friend's advice, so you know how to react with your next boyfriend" The funny thing is, I felt the chemistry again, we were joking around and sitting very close to each other. Also, during the past 2 months we have discussed our relationship A LOT, what went wrong, what were the things that annoyed us about the other and really discussed everything.
Well, I ended up going back to his place and we had sex, and it felt like the times before we broke up. Since we broke up, he has not invited me back to his room, only just hanging in the living room and watching TV and talking like friends do. What meant more was that he kissed me on the lips, with the same passion as when we were dating each other. Of course, I am not drawing ANY conclusions from this whatsoever, I am just going with the flow basically. I would not be upset if he still feels that we shouldn't be together, hooking up is hooking up and it doesn't have to mean we're getting back together.
I am just interested what you think? What is your opinion on this whole situation? I feel we have both learned a lot during this 3 months we have been broken up, just being friends and learning things about each other we never knew when we were dating. What is he thinking? I know it may be hard to draw conclusions, but maybe if someone from the "outside" looks at this, it might make more sense. Thanks!!!
