is it bad to just send a short email

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
is it bad to just send a short email
3
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 4:45pm

so its been two weeks in the breakup and he broke up with me and then said when i was ready to talk to him and it was ok to have him call me again to let him know. he is an idiot. i know that. he doesn't understand why he misses me and everything and i know from a previous ex that i can't make him understand. and i'm moving on slowly trying to figure out everything that i felt was out of whack with my life prior to the breakup.

here is my thought. i just want to send him an email saying i hope you have a good ash wed because i do. i know folks will think i want a reply. but the thing is, because of his idiocies and inability to just be able to get his life together, we broke up. i KNOW he wants me to be ready to just talk to him but right now i've chosen not to because i want to refocus on myself and figure out what i am doing with myself. and if i run into him its fine and we're ok. but well i do hope that he has a good ash wed. i know this whole time is important to him. i'm not ready for us to be chummy and talking like regularly at all right now. but i still don't hold any ill-will to him.

any thoughts...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 4:57pm

I think you answered your own question!

You aren't ready to talk to him...so don't contact him. That's what he will think if you do--that you are ready to be chummy. Two weeks isn't long enough; give yourself some time before considering any kind of contact!

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 5:03pm

You Say:
---> i'm not ready for us to be chummy and talking like regularly at all right now<---

If this is the case, then why send him an e-mail. If you send this e-mail he will assume you are ready to talk like regular.

IMHO do not send the e-mail. It will just set you back in your healing. Wait awhile, wait until you're ready to talk like regular with him.

~Amber

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 10:09pm
I think you already know that its a bad idea to send him an e-mail. I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half 2 weeks ago. and like you, i kept having this desire to forward something to him or send him an e-mail. I didnt do either but it made me and think about what my real intention was behind making contact with him. Is it really killing you that you can't tell him 'have a good ash wednesday' or do you just want to let him know that you're thinking about him and deep down inside you really do want a response.
I'm with the other posters, you aren't ready to be all chummy with him quite yet. If you were you wouldn't have hesitated and stopped to ask for advice.
If nothing else, make sure you're comfortable with the repercussions of whatever it is you decide to do.