It has all been a lie
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| Sun, 07-10-2005 - 8:11am |
Last night I learned, without question, that everything about my marriage has been a lie. Sure, some people say that when there's been some kind of betrayal because it FEELS like it was a lie. Mine actually was.
I learned, direct from my husband's mouth, that everything he has ever told me about himself for the past 5 years has been a lie. Right down to places he's never been, things he's never done, even the fact that he graduated from college turned out to be a lie. EVERYTHING HE HAS EVER TOLD ME ABOUT HIMSELF WAS A LIE.
That was 6 hours ago and he's now sleeping comfortably and I don't know what to do. I want to leave but I need at least one more paycheck before I can afford to get out. He seems like a crazy person to me now. I have no idea who he is - who he EVER was - and I don't see any reason why I should even bother trying to work this out & trust him again.
He has lied so much about so many things that I really think he's not capable of telling the truth. And it's not just ME that he lies to - he lies to everyone, all the time.
I think right now I'm just in shock. I know what I need to do but I'm completely blown away by all of this. I mean, I've done my share of investigating over the years and there were some lies I already knew about but this is much, MUCH bigger than I ever thought. I feel like an idiot. I feel like the last 5 years of my life were a waste. And I'm so angry that's it's hard to even breathe.
I just needed to get this out before he wakes up & I have start making decisions about what to do. At least he's offered to leave & go stay with his mother so I can have time to get my head together. That is, of course, if he's not lying about that too.
Thanks for letting me vent.

Wow, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You must just be in shock. No, this doesn't sound like something that can be fixed.
Please keep us posted on how you are doing. If he doesn't go stay with his mother, is there someone you can stay with until you can afford to move?
Sheri
Awh poor you, This would awful. I can only imagine your confusion and anger over this.....what pompted him to confess all of this to you today?? He lied about so many things and then all of a sudden he comes clean.....is he looking for help perhaps??
I do hope he goes and stays with his mother. How is your relationship with her?? Is she some-one you can talk to?? I would want answers and she might be able to fill in some blanks...
Hugs to you and keep us posted.