It has to be over
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| Sat, 07-08-2006 - 7:41pm |
I posted a while ago about problems I've been having with my boyfriend on a different board. I'm now ready to call it quits on the relationship, but I'm having problems doing that. I somehow managed to allow my boyfriend to gradually start controlling different things that I do, the first being who I hang out with. The first few months of dating him were fine but after that things went crazy. He slowly weeded out all of my friends and now I have none left and I feel awful about it. I have no clue why I would ever let this happen. Just how angry he would get when I would go hang out or even talk to people kind of scared me I guess. He's never hit me, but he gets so upset that I just get scared and acqueisce to what he wants me to do. He basically has been able to get me to get rid of my friends, change my college degree (even though I plan on switching back immediately before much harm is done), quit two of my jobs because he didn't like them, and a lot more. I feel stupid for all of this because I used to think I was independent enough to make my own choices about these things and I somehow managed to change everything for someone I THOUGHT I loved. He constantly accuses me of cheating and I start to feel guilty about it, but then I realize that I don't even get to hang out with anyone anymore so how in the world would I be cheating.
I just started a new job and I absolutely love the people there. There's a guy there that I have talked to whenever we work together. I'm not counting on starting a relationship with him because I don't even know if he's interested, but just being around him and joking and talking to him is so nice. It makes me miss my friends so much and I realize that even though I may have loved my boyfriend at a time, and I may still love him , I can't go my entire life without my friends. I need someone I can talk to and this guy at work has finally made me realize that. I've been trying to break up with my boyfriend but everytime I do I get scared or he'll start being all sweet to me and I give in and don't break it off. I know I want out, but I can't make myself do it. Any suggestions for how to do it without being sucked back in? I know it sounds dumb, but It's driving me crazy.

That had to be difficult, to realize you'd given away so much of yourself in a relationship.
Then