It hurts so much
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| Tue, 06-14-2005 - 5:39pm |
I'm sorry to use that statement as the title to this, but it's the truth. Hi, my name is Cecelia and in the last 18 hours or so my dreams shattered. This isn't my first broken heart (and probably won't be my last), but right now this is the one that hurts. He (his name is Chris, by the way) says that he loves me, but he's not in love with me and he is in love with a friend of mine (her name is Amy, she introduced us and they've dated before). I can't say that I'm not hurt by what she done (she called him yesterday and left him a voice mail saying that she wanted to give their relationship another chance) or that I'm not angry. I just want to scream or throw something or somehow release as much of this pain as possible, but for some reason all I can do is cry and that's not helping very much.
A mutual friend of ours (all 3 of us) asked us to house-sit for him while he was gone this week. No problem, right? Sure, no problem until she decided that she wanted him back and not even 2 days ago she was saying how she wasn't wanting to get into a relationship right now. That she needed the opportunity to sort her life out and figure out what she wanted. I think what hurts more than him going back to her is the fact that she gave him the choice. (Oh, I want so bad to cuss and scream!)
Thanks for listening and for accepting me with all my problems.
Always,
Cecelia

I am SO sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time. Just know you came to a place where we are all supportive of you!
It will get better...
*hug*
hi cecilia,
i'm very sorry to hear what has happened to you and sadly, i am sharing the same fate too!
5 and a half years ago,i started a relationship with this guy who happens to fall for my good friend earlier but she rejected him twice and she told me there is no chemistry. so when finally he falls for me, i accepted him and so started this long and bitter-sweet relationship.
1.5 years down the road i have to move to another state and we have to be apart after that until now (of course we do meet each other like once a month). through the years, we've been thru thick & thin, ups & downs and we could solve anything at all except for this girl. she keeps pastering with my guy and it's really too long to explain it all. anyway, she later confessed that the likes my guy too but just playing hard-to-get when she was approached the other time.
my bf keeps assuring me that nothing is gonna happen between them but my instinct is telling me that something's wrong. i even told myself that everything's just my own sensitivity and i'm thinking too much until lately.
just found some solid evidence yesterday that there IS an affair going on behing my back. the moment i found out, i was stoned and couldn't think of anything. words could not explain that feeling. why is he doing this to me? why? i've been there for him through his most difficult time (even something you would not imagined).
he took for granted that i wouldn't find out and still denying of having an affair when i tested him just now... i really never thought all these could be happening to me. seriously, i've evaluated myself and even in comparison with my friends, i'm a very good girlfriend (there's no point for me to lie this to you).
tell me what to do? i really loved him deeply and though he shouted at me like i'm not worth a cent when i called him last night, i still try to thnk bout only the positive side. it hurts so much this is happening. and apart from crying, i did not know what else to do.
so my advice for you is that, if you sense something is wrong, or even worse still the girl has already confess her love for your bf, better let go while it's still early. he might look very honest and faithful (just like mine) but behind, he may be cheating on you. it's not a surprise afterall cuz he's had a crush on her before. i'm not trying to kill your hopes or etc... but from my experience, it's not worth your time and sacrifices.
when a man changes, he will change completely without even looking back on those times you were together. when they want to dump you for another girl, they will just put all the blame on you which you will feel very hurt in the end (just like me now).
sorry & thank you for listening to this.. and, hope that time will heal your pain.
~bitter-sweet~