Is it Positive Attraction?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2007
Is it Positive Attraction?
5
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 6:48pm

I have been looking all over the boards to see if anyone has experienced the same situation and I could not find this topic - so here goes...

Last week, I would have been well on my way to 3 weeks with NC. I was feeling pretty good, smiling again, and getting my self esteem back. Although I would think about the break up often, I wasn't having the daily break downs. Overall I was doing pretty good. Then out of the blue the dreaded ex calls me. I was at work and don't have caller ID so I was caught off guard. I spoke with him for about 30 minutes and we talked about nothing of significance. Just talk about life...yada yada yada. Now, I know I should have kept this conversation really brief but I was just curious to see what he had to say. Well, to no surprise he didn't have anything to say - at least regarding what happened between the two of us.

Now my question is this..why when you are getting to a good place in your life and picking up the pieces do the ex bf/gf find it necessary to call? In my situation, my ex has already moved on with a new girlfriend and I believe has already moved in. I have made no attempts to contact him or see him so why does he find it necessary to call me? Would you say that he is just curious about how I'm doing? Does he want to know if I am still really upset? Does he want to make sure that I do not think of him as a complete jerk?

I tend to find that when I am starting to feel better and have moved on, my past relations want to resurface. Has anyone else experienced this? Could it be that they sense that you are happy again and have positive energy around you and you no long miss them?

All comments welcomed....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 10:13pm
Maybe. I was at five months, only just starting to get back to normal. I had met a guy I liked, was going out more, and then bam, he sent me an email out of the blue. The next thing you know, we were meeting for lunch, and he was practically begging to get back together. Then three months later we broke up again. We didn't talk at all after the first breakup for five months, and I thought that I would never hear from him again. It's strange that they sense when it's best to contact you to throw you off.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 10:23pm

Hi belle923,


::Could it be that they sense that you are happy again and have positive energy around you and you no long miss them?


I agree with that question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2007
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 1:45pm
My first thought about the questions: Who cares what he wants/thinks? :) He is out of the picture, out of your life, isn't he?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 11:59am
I see this person on occasion as we work for the same company.
He is no longer in my life but I am just curious about why the need to call, especially when we run into each other from time to time. When I do see him, no words are exchange except a polite hello. Just wondering why someone who no longer wants to be with you, later finds the need to contact you. (which seems to happen when you have begun to heal and move on)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 1:42pm
My ex has been doing exactly the same, he knocks on my door, asks for a cup of tea and then tells me how wonderful I am looking! This upsets me so much that I have had to angrily eject him from my life!
I have realised that he did it because it's all about control. He didn't want to totally let go - he wanted his cake and eat it!
They may move on with other women, but they like to keep tabs!