is it possible to be in love w/2 people

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
is it possible to be in love w/2 people
3
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 1:00pm
Ok before I ask the question I just want to say that I know I am not ignorant,or neive and this is not my first relationship by any means so why is it that 2X in the past 7years I have been faced w/this situation and or excuse but have never been able to find any one who can honestly answer my question?My past 2 serious relationships have been so damaging and hurtful to me personally and I don't know what to think.In both of the relationships my exes have cheated on me w/their ex-girlfriends before me.when i ask why or what happened or what did i do i have been told,"I don't know, or i can't explain it cuz you won't understand but i fell back in love w/her and im still in love w/you too."Is that supposed to make me feel better that you still love me too?regardless of that is that really even possible to be in love w/2 people at the same time,cuz i just don't see how.My heart just doesn't work that way.when i love someone and am in love my heart only beats for that 1 person.am i the only person like this in the world?is it abnormal for me to only be able to love 1 person at a time?HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 3:22pm
He wasn't in love with either of you.

In order to trully be able to love someone, you have to be in a good mental space. You have to be a secure person, who is able to look out for the other person's best interest. You must be considerate, mature and honest.

Does it sound to you like he was that person? Of course not. Do you htink he had anyone's best interest at heart but his own? He was playing both of you and that does NOT involve love on any level no matter what he told you.

Look there are ways to deal with things. If things weren't going where he wanted them to, or if he still had feelings for his ex, he should have discussed this with you and ended the relationship honestly and respectfully. He did not. He did not once, I can guarantee this, think of how he woudl feel if the roles were reversed.

It sounds like you are a mature person, able to trully be in a loving relaitonship. These guys were not. Don't question yourself in this. Just learn the lessons. There surely must have been signs that you ignored. Try to learn from these expeirences so that next time you will be with someon who trully loves themselves first and so is able to give themselves completely to one person.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 4:58pm
When someone loves two people, then they don't love either of them enough!

Think about it! Someone very wise once said that to me.


Deborah

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 8:32pm
You can love someone(care for them) or you can love someone deeply. Which one are you?