Is it time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2007
Is it time?
2
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 5:21pm
My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year, I know thats not long (I was in a four year relationship prior) and recently we haven't been getting along very well. I say recently, you see he has an anger problem where when I try to talk all he can do is yell its been that way through the whole relationship. I've tried to get him to seek help. He put himself in anger management years ago he said it just made him more mad. I don't know what to do, he blows up over the stupidest things, he broke the broom in half becuase I told him it wouldn't kill him to use it every now and then. That I didn't have to be the only one who cooks and cleans our apartment. He's never physically hit me, he has however thrown a shoe and nailed me in the nose with it. Anyway that s off the story, so last saturday he got pissed at me because he said I didn't do his laundry. Which was true, but he gets off before I do. Anyway I had to go to my moms (my uncle who helped raise me died unexpectedly in jaunuary) to help clean out my uncles shop, I told him that i thought he needed to really think of if he wanted to be with me because right now it didn't seem like it. Well he lost it with me and told me to get the f out and I asked him not to make it like that. Well anyway we yelled and fought and talked and he has agreed to go to counseling, but now he says,that I seem completley different and withdrawn since our fight. I just don't know if I can look past the way he has treated me over the past year, even if he does get help. I'm sorry this is so long, I just don't know if I should give him the benefit of the doubt and try to work things out, or cut my losses and say good bye. Please help me, I'm lost.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-02-2007 - 5:26pm

tryingtofindmyway...

Pianoguy's only comment:

Knowing what you already know about "the anger problem" your b/f has...why would you want to put yourself IN HARM'S WAY? If the man really got upset and threatened to kill you, this would suddenly end your existence on the planet!

You can't expect to share a life with ANYBODY---if that person is completely miserable by himself!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sun, 03-04-2007 - 9:16am

I'm with PG on this, GET OUT. YOU ARE IN DANGER. Just because he didn't physically strike you with his own hand doesn't mean he hasn't hit you, what part of, "Ow, that shoe you threw at me hurt my nose!" isn't hitting? I mean seriously, is that an option here? He has to actually HIT you first before you'll leave?

The thing is, you cannot control his behavior, or anyone else's. The truth of the matter is that he doesn't either love or respect you enough to control himself or his violent outbursts, *knowing full well he has anger management issues*. Being upset and anry is one thing, but breaking things, throwing objects *in order to hurt you, no less* is another thing altogether. You're an adult and as such, you are responsible for the situations you allow yourself to be in.

Frankly, if you want to be a statistic of domestic violence, stay in the relationship, if you don't and you value your life and safety, you'll head for the hills. Your choice.

Best,

~~.: Sandra :.~~


CL- Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

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