Is it worth it now it's over?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Is it worth it now it's over?
5
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 5:49am

My BF of 2 1/2 + yrs and I broke up last night and naturally I am devastated. Here is my story, sorry if it doesn't make sense or I ramble on but with luck seeing it in black and white might help make sense to me.


Last Feb I found out that he had been having an affair (pls no bitching about this cos he has some deep rooted esteem issue coming from an abusive parent and he has gotten help for this), we worked on things and went to counseling and agreed to work on our relationship etc and things went well and we moved in together last July.


Everything was working out just fine and I sold my property this Jan to start the house buying process with him. I then loaned him a lot of money to help him out with his debts with the view that when we sold his place his profits would pay for both shares of the deposit.


Things started getting rocky after that. Ohh also his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, but she's responding really well to the treatment and it all looks good. He is still exceptional worried about her though, a contributing factor maybe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2008
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 9:10am
Hi there. I'm sorry, but I went thru something similar with my ex. He never had the patience to rebuild the trust - just wanted it immediately - just wanted me to stop asking questions and being suspicious. You know why? Because they want to carry on as usual. They're still doing things behind our back and they don't want to get caught, that's why. Sorry if I sound cynical, but if something doesn't seem right, it's just not right. People who are remorseful would be willing to do whatever it takes to gain back the trust - they have truly learned a lesson and have nothing to hide.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 2:59pm

I'm really very sorry about your breakup, I'm sure it's very painful to say the least.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 7:21pm

Welcome to the board gscrow,


You got two different opinions and I wanted to add: IF he was still texting her, he's NOT trustworthy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 3:51am

Thanks,


To clarify she text him and he replied once, he then told me about it. I never went looking on that occasion. It was a couple of weeks later (with a lot of beer inside me) that I looked because I always said to him that I need to be able to do it. And on ONE occassion I did, no more no less!


I appreciate your point about if

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2006
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 9:03am

I'm sorry you're going through this.