It would be a lot easier....
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It would be a lot easier....
| Sat, 05-13-2006 - 12:12pm |
...if I was dealing with a *man* and not a 14 year old trapped in a 32 year old body.
| Sat, 05-13-2006 - 12:12pm |
...if I was dealing with a *man* and not a 14 year old trapped in a 32 year old body.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this nonsense. But don't beat yourself up, you are NOT an idiot. I'm sure there were many good things about your relationship and there was no way you could know what he was doing. He lied to you and cheated on you. He's the one that deserves the beating, not you. So no more of that idiot crap, ok? What you are is a woman who had the misfortune to fall in love with a man who is troubled. Be happy that you found this out BEFORE the wedding.
As for the stuff, how about leaving him a message saying, "If you don't remove your things by next Saturday at noon, I'm going to put them into storage." Call up a local storage facility, there must be one somewhere near you and have them pick up the stuff. Some storage places provide you with a truck. Actually, this probably isn't practical because you would have to pay for the storage. My idea was that you wouldn't pay after the first month. Usually when that happens they just end up auctionining off the stuff. But it might work. Put his stuff into storage and if he really cares about it, he'll go get it. It's your apartment. Don't they say possession is 9/10ths of the law? His stuff is in your house, therefore it's your stuff.
The other option is to give him the same Saturday at noon ultimatum and say you'll take it all to the Salvation Army. This has to end. Be firm about it. It sounds like you don't owe him anyhing. Get his stuff out of the way so you can get on with your mourning and start a new life with someone who can love you and treat you right.
I disagree that changing the locks isn't an option. He's not living there any more and he's not paying his half of the rent so I think you could make a very good argument in your defense if he were to take you to court (which is not very likely). Change the locks and give your landlord a key and be done with it. Mark his mail "no longer at this address" and send it back--if he wants it, he can file a change of address form at the post office.
If you want to be done with it, then take action to be done with it. I like the suggestions in the other post about dealing with his stuff.
How much did you lend him for the truck? You might need to just let that go...because otherwise you're probably looking at taking him to court and it just may not be worth the aggravation and having to continue to have contact with him. The goal is to get to the point where you have no more contact ASAP.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this...but yes, it sounds like you are learning how bad a mistake it would have been to marry him!!!
Sheri