IT'S BEEN 2 MOS, SHOULD I CALL????

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
IT'S BEEN 2 MOS, SHOULD I CALL????
4
Sun, 11-21-2004 - 1:34pm
Ok, people out there, I need some advice. I was seeing this guy and things ended badly, where I told him to leave me alone, and never call me again. He has respected my wishes and hasn't called me. It's been 2 months now, and my hurt and pain have been minimal, even though I still think about our relationship and what happened to us. He's really a good person, and I realized alot of things. My question is I want to know how he's doing? Should I call him? His birthday is coming up in the next couple of weeks, and I was going to wait until after his b-day to call him, but I don't know. I'm not nervous like I thought I should be, but I'm just curious to see how life's been treating him. Am I doing the right thing, by wanting to call him? Please be honest and give me that painful advice if I need it. Thank you, a few of my friends tell me to do it, but IVillage has become the DOCTOR for me these past few painful months that I want to hear from you guys first. Thank you!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2004
Sun, 11-21-2004 - 8:50pm

I say call.....what can it hurt? I've stayed in contact with my ex-bf and I don't think I'm fooling myself, but I think we have a chance of getting back together.

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
Sun, 11-21-2004 - 10:26pm

Hi,

I think it depends on who ended it. If you broke up with him and told him to leave...then I guess it may be OK to call for you, but may be difficult for him to deal with. Know why you're calling...is it simply to leave the door open? Be careful, cause all the work you've done to "heal" is going to be affected by calling him. I'm sure you care a great deal about him, but think about the bigger picture before calling him. Can you really be a friend to him 2 months after a break up? It's really a hard call to make, but trust your instinct on this one.

good luck:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 12:01am
Ok, thank you for the words of support, but our relationship was very complicated and we really didn't have a "relationship". I mean we met each other, and we talked on the phone everyday, and we went out a few times. It was strange, because we were "friends" and he wanted a sexual committment from me, and I couldn't do it, so we had an emotional rollercoaster of a "friendship" where our feelings became intense and the "friendship" was still there, but the feelings changed. Anyways, I fell deeply into him, and because we never discussed what our "relationship" was, things got bad, and he disappointed me over and over, hurting my feelings for months, and I finally told him to never call me again, because he was stressing me out. Do you understand? If you don't, then you know how I was feeling those months when we were supposedly "dating". I don't know if we were dating. There was basically no "communication" during this ordeal, and I realized that was the major cause of me ending "whatever we had". I'm still confused, but I really want to know how he's doing. I don't know what to do, but I'm going to wait some more and see how I feel. I appreciate you responding and your right about my progress, I don't want to lose what I gained this far. But I'm really not "into him" like I use to. I just realized I want more than a sexual committment, and he didn;t fit me emotionally, but I want to know how he's doing. I am talking to other men, so that helps me. What do you think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 7:07pm

I think it should be fine to give him a call. If lack of communication was a problem before...well than maybe you can fix that.