It's been 7 months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
It's been 7 months.
14
Sun, 12-02-2007 - 1:56am

I am 7 months out of a 3 year relationship. It was a very sad break up for me because I was very happy with the relationship. He came back from a 6 week business trip, was a little distant and then told me the distance made him realize he wasn't happy anymore and that he didn't think I was the right person for him. It was awful, and I was sort of stunned. The comparison to before the business trip and afterwards was just night and day. The whole break up was very emotional for both of us but there are a few things that have driven me nuts since then.


I never got any further explaination than what

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 12-02-2007 - 5:36pm

Welcome to the board antyem4,


Everything you feel is normal. You are in the mists of grieving. It can last a long time as everyone is different. "And now he is just gone and I feel like he died. " that what the end of relationship is like.


Relationship Grieving Process

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 3:21am

That's a horrible thing to say and I find it incredibly offensive. Obviously I have no feelings of ill-will towards him and flat out stating he would have "met someone else" is ludacris. If I thought that, I would have stated as such. During the 6 weeks he was gone he was staying with his 40+ year old sister who is married with 3 rowdy kids. He wouldn't have had that type of opportunity and did not get the job, and decided he did not WANT the job he went out there to get.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2006
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 11:59am

I'm so sorry you are hurting this way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 12:33pm

My intention was not to offend you or make you feel bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2005
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 3:57pm
this morning i was reading twinflame message at least 5 times..over and over and over again..and i didnt see she said anything wrong to offend u..u totally misunderstood her...they are all here to help..thats why we are able to come here to vent....sometimes we are living in a denial and refuse to see ourselves in a destructive behavior when relationships end. trust me..i was there...been there done that....but people here or our friends and families can only give us so much advices..but the bottom line is we are the one who has to make the decisons for ourselves....its hard yes but it will get better....it may takes longer for some of us to heal and move on...but the choices is up to us......why waste so much emotions dwelling on why and what...or but..or if...men has only 3 emotions....angry ,hungry and horny..LOL...and its so true..be strong !!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 3:50pm

look at it this way, if he met someone else, yeah, that sucks, but it means


IT WASN'T YOU!


that's good news actually...


& why don't you talk to his friend that you see on a regular basis? you don't need to talk about him but just say hey, didn't i meet you before. that will at least perhaps ease your discomfort a little.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 10:09pm

What is WRONG with you people? I have no idea why I came back here to see if anything said anything helpful because each of you made a further coment on how he would have met someone else/cheated/whatever, etc.


Then to accuse me of being in DENIAL? Are you KIDDING? Unless you yourself are sleeping with him, I suggest you think about what you say before you say it. I am not in DENIAL. He is NOT WITH ANYONE ELSE AND HAS NOT BEEN EITHER!


Do you not KNOW the signficant other's you were with? I know him better than any person on this planet and I know and would know if there were ANYONE else in his life. That is INSANE, and it is disrepectful to ME to continue to PUSH something like that, which I already stated only makes me MORE upset when I know in my heart, AND FOR A FACT that it is not true.


I'm sorry, but I was with him, and shared every aspect of my life with him for 3 years. He hadn't been on a date in 2 YEARS when we initially went out, and likely will experience a similar slump now that he's single again. And he is SINGLE. He doesn't want to be in a relationship! He's almost 30 and has only been with 3 women in his life- he is not the kind of guy who would dump one woman for another. Hes never even CONSIDERED having a fling! He spent 6 weeks with his sister looking for a job, and essentially living the family life he and I would have had had we continued with our plans.


And most likely, that is exactly what happened- he didn't want to live the life he saw her lving!


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 11:36pm

Excuse me, but may I just point out that advice and opinions are just that - advice and opinion. That means that you can take it or leave it - nobody is forcing you to do either.

You're lashing out at people who are trying to help you by offering advice through their own experiences. Maybe it's not the best advice or their experiences don't reflect yours. That's fine. But there's a better way to phrase what you feel without antagonizing half the board. You could have thanked them for their advice and stated that you didn't feel it reflected your situation rather than accusing them of not reading your post. I know for a FACT that everyone who replied took the time to read through your experience and offer insightful comments best they can.

Being broken up with is NOT an excuse to take it out on other people. The world does not revolve around your pain and we aren't here to validate your opinion. Maybe that's harsh and chances are you aren't like that usually, but that last post completely crossed the line.

Chew on that for a bit.


- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past - there's a reason they didn't make it into your future.
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 12:46am

A short story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 7:03am

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