its my birthday weekend!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
its my birthday weekend!!
4
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 3:17am

its my birthday this weekend!!

and im quite excited... all my girlfriends and i are heading out... i have a hot new outfit for tomorrow, and im getting my hair done in the afternoon ... we're starting off with dinner, then martinis and daiquiris, then heading over to a bar after.. it should be loads of fun... me and my girls all decked out...drunk.. lol

BUT - as this wknd arrives, a few thoughts surfaces in my head...

first, i realize that its been one year since my ex and i first broke up last year... its so weird to realize this... it seems like its been such a long time, but really - its only been one year... and.. its odd because sooo much has happened since ....

and then i feel saddened...because i realize that my ex has never spent a birthday with me... we met september of 03, and were broken up right before my birthday in year 2004... then now - again in year 2005... and then when i reflect back on how it was just two months ago - i would have never imagined that we'd be here again ... i specifically remember being excited at spending this year's birthday with him... NEVERMIND to that! :(

and then i begin to wonder if my ex will send me any birthday wishes at all... i dont know if i want him to, and im not sure if he will... but i feel like im sitting on edge waiting to find out... i feel nervous for some reason ...

anyways, just thought id share my crazy thoughts with ya'll -
smiles,
eeksj

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 7:56am

eeksj...


RULE #1:


You're NOT to think about anything or anybody unpleasant on your birthday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 10:07am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
"Sitting on the edge" is a great way to put it. In fact, it's the perfect way to put it. When you look at it literally you see a person sitting on an edge sort of waiting to fall. I think it's an all too familiar for most of us on this board- sitting on an edge wondering if he's going to "wake up" or "call" or "write". At least until we find joy in ourselves and/or with some other great person who almost inevitably DOES come along. But you can't speed up the grieving process. Try your best to enjoy your big weekend. Try to follow pianoguy's rule, but if you break it (we've all been there), don't kick yourself. Allow yourself 2 minutes to teeter on that edge- no more than two minutes. Really feel it- get nervous, sad, angry, whatever you want for those two minutes and then when those two minutes are up, you are off and running. Trying NOT to do something can sometimes make it worse, so instead be gentle with yourself and allow the two minutes- but no more than that. It's all you really need.
Happy days will be here again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 11:32am

Happy Birthday! It is natural to think about him, will he remember, will he call, etc. but it really doesn't matter. You are moving on, and a birthday is a perfect time for "new beginnings" Make this year about YOU, not him. I know that is easier said than done - I was thinking the same thing on my last birthday.

But think about it - if he remembers and calls - so what? You know you have to move on and this guy is not right for you. If he forgets - so what? You aren't dating anymore. This is YOUR DAY and you have a killer outfit and friends to spend it with. Try to enjoy what you have, and think about this as the opportunity to make this the best year of your life!

Have a great time tonight!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 6:21pm

hi everyone :)

i was having a great day today...got my hair done right after work and it looks great...my stylist gave me free (expensive) conditioner too for my bday! ...picked up my new top from the tailors and it fits perfectly... picked up a disposable camera for tonight... etc etc

but then, just 30 minutes ago - i find out that a few of the girls may not make it out afterwards...and its left me feeling down... i dont know, ...i was soooo looking forward to being with just all my friends, and now - i feel like i few of them have abandoned me....its silly, i know...but i cant help feeling a little dissapointed right now... :( ... i guess we'll see how the night turns out...

and i know how i shouldnt dwell on my ex..i KNOW it doesnt matter whether or not he'll remember its my birthday and whether or not he'll send me a greeting of some sort... i knwo that on a very logical level....but that doesnt change how i FEEL ..

i still miss him nonetheless...i still love him ... after i got my hair done and i was driving, i couldnt help but wish that he'd be able to see my hair...in my head i was imagining how we'd bump into each other downtown tonight...but i know thats not going to happen..

IRRR :(

anyways, ill try to make the best of tonight...
just feeling a little down...
but im sure the martinis tonight will fix that! lol
eeksj :)