it's only been 3 days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
it's only been 3 days.
2
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 10:33pm
hi everyone.
it's only been three days since my boyfriend broke up with me. we have a child together, and were living together, but about 6 months ago, i left. we were having problems and the only thing i could think to do was leave. this was a mistake. since then, we've sort of talked about things, talked about the idea of counselling which seemed to fall through every single time. we only talked on an irregular basis and never saw each other aside from picking up/dropping off baby.
just a few days ago though, he officially stated that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. i am heartbroken. i don't know what to do. i cry as soon as i put baby to bed, and will tear up while doing the most menial household tasks. it hurts so bad. i didn't leave because i stopped loving him, i've told him this, but he viewed/views me leaving as it being over. i still love him. he says he still loves and misses me but is not "in love" with me anymore, that he fell out of it.
now i'm left to deal with all the broken pieces. what about our baby? this isn't fair. how he can just dictate that this is the way our child's life will be, living two separate lives with two separate parents is just unfair.
i'm just so sad. it seemed like this break up was looming, that we'd eventually run our relationship into the ground, but a little part of me still believed we'd end up together somehow, that we'd be able to make it work. i still can't believe he feels this way. everytime the phone rings i hope it's him, wanting to be with me still, wanting to love me, but it's never him. and he never will.
how do i deal with this? :(
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 12:56am

Welcome to the board paradisochick,


I'm sorry you are going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sun, 03-09-2008 - 9:20am

Hi paradisochick,

What was so unworkable that you felt you had to leave the relationship rather than stay and work things out? It's very hard to offer you any specific advice without knowing. Some things can be fixed even after a breakup, some things cannot. You say he decided that he's "dictating that this is how your child's life will be" but let's recall you were the one who walked out, so really, you were the one who made that decision. At least, that's what your actions said, and actions speak much louder than words, especially those that were never spoken (your hope that things would work out.)

This man will not be out of your life for many many years to come, and you still have to forge some knd of relationship with him, as co-parent, because of your child. Maybe this finalization of the breakup six months ago will be the catalyst for the two of you to actually talk about things, clear the air between you. And you don't know what will happen in the future.

Good luck,

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