ITS OVER

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2005
ITS OVER
8
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 7:11am
He was divorced and still messed up. We started seeing eachother but he would make no commitments. It went on for a year with him telling me things that led me to believe it was just the timing. He finally ended it all and said it was more than timing and he hung up on me.
It was mainly a sexual relationship since he wouldn't give emotionally.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: gal_raven
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 4:02pm

Hey there, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I don't know why but I had the impression this had ended a while ago...but in any event, at least you know now that it's over for sure.

Someone who was right for you would never treat you like that...keep that firmly in mind as you move forward.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2005
In reply to: gal_raven
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 11:06pm
Thanks. I guess it was over a while ago, but when your taken on a rollercoaster with a hot/cold guy you never know. At one point we didn't speak for three months, but then it picked up again.
Now he really ended things. Last time it was because he wasn't over his divorce and now he sounds like he hates me.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: gal_raven
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 1:21pm

Sweetie, you can't take it personally. I'm sure he doesn't "hate" you, he's just too messed up to be in a relationship. But I know it hurts...I'm going through a situation with some similarities...I was in an LDR that I ended this summer, but then we started talking again because of the hurricane (he lived in New Orleans). We were talking about once a week or so, and I finally asked him what was up three weeks ago...was he in or out (of our relationship)? He made all the right noises about wanting a future together, coming up for a visit soon, blah, blah, blah...but he hasn't spoken to me since, and won't return my calls or emails. I've given up, but it hurts to have it end on such a bad note, after a year and a half. But I know it's HIM, not me...and hopefully you know that too.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2005
In reply to: gal_raven
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 3:47pm
Thanks
Now its really worse than I imagined. When he first pulled away I got physically sick and went to the hospital. This time I think it's for good because he said it was unhealthy what we were doing. And it was. He needed to be alone and I wanted him so it ends up being a sexual relationship with only me getting more attached to him. He was keeping himself from getting to emotional.
He knew I was in love with him and that's why he left. So I got extremely ill today and almost had to go to the hospital again. The stress takes over. Now I'm thinking I'm a codependent. Although I really did feel for him.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: gal_raven
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 5:34pm

It sounds like some counseling would be a good idea to get you through this. Are you seeing a therapist?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2005
In reply to: gal_raven
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 10:17pm
No Therapist. He's been seeing one all along. I thought I was happy before meeting him and he dragged me down with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
In reply to: gal_raven
Sun, 12-04-2005 - 5:45am

Hi!

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. Just wanted to make a point about therapy/counseling: it's not about being happy, it's about becoming more effective. If stress puts you in the hospital, or debilitates you to point that you're ill, then you need to learn some management techniques that will give you more control over your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2005
In reply to: gal_raven
Sun, 12-04-2005 - 11:16am
Worse thing is I think because I told him I loved him he had to dump me.