It's over, and I'm trying to cope

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2005
It's over, and I'm trying to cope
2
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 4:30pm
First, let me say that I understand every feeling, thought, and emotion that everyone here is experiencing. Having the person you love break up with you is the most painful event I have felt.
Without going into specifics, long story short, the man I love more than anything broke up with me on Tuesday night. I could picture a future for us, I was so happy with him, we were on the phone every day for hours and we saw each other at least twice a week. He's my best friend--I told him everything and he confided so many things in me. Our lives were so similar in so many ways. I had so much respect for him. Apparently that wasn't a two-way street, though. He loves me, but he's not in love with me. He wants the freedom to date someone else if he finds someone he's interested in.
I've had a really hard time dealing with this. I almost stayed home from work, but that is one of the only things I have in my life right now. It's my lifeline. The weekend has been long and brutal--I've done a lot of crying, TV watching, and writing all my feelings down. And reading the posts in here so that I know I'm not alone in what I'm going through.
I love this man more than anything and I think I always will. We dated before, and that ended after 4 months. We've been dating for 1 year, 3 months now. Or, we were. It's been so hard to focus on anything but him. Yesterday I stayed on my couch all day long. Today I've gotten a few chores done around my apartment. I still keep one ear open for my phone to ring. He's in my heart and on my mind 24/7. Sleeping until all my feelings of worthlessness, emptiness, and pain go away sounds really good, but not really realistic. I've got an appointment to talk to a counselor next week, and I can't wait to go. I know that I can't deal with this on my own. I have a lot of issues I need to work out for myself. I don't regret being in love with him, we had some incredible times together. I'm very glad that I am able to love. It just hurts that he doesn't want to build a future with me. I'd like to think that I was a good thing in his life.
Everything is just one day, hour, minute at a time right now. It's so hard.
Good luck to everyone who is going through this. I wish you all inner peace and strength.

Everything happens for a reason

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2007
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 6:36pm

i feel exactly what you feel.
I went through the same thing.
worse is that he was married and never told me

i feel so bad about it
and it is so crazy.

But Remember that you are not the only one going through that, stay strong.

Get it all out is the first thing, cry it out, get mad, but dont harm yourself

then make a list of what you learned from it and

do things that you enjoy and get out and you know because of how much the relationship meant to you. it will take you sometime... but it is so much better to move on you know, if he feels he should continue seeing other people means that he doesnt understand what oyu are worth. YOu deserve better.

You are better off without him...

Stay strong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 7:05pm
It's SO painful. We think that there is nobody in this world that can be hurting as much as we are. And sometimes, there's nothing that anybody can do or say to make us feel better. We just have to keep in mind that nothing is final until we die. (I know that sounds moribid, but it's true.) Anyway, keep your chin up. There is a man out there who will fall head over heels in love with you, and he's worth waiting for.