It's over...Now what?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
It's over...Now what?????
11
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 1:31pm
My three year engagement came to an end on August 23, 2004. My ex had began seeing someone else and I found him at her house....the first three weeks we talked every day. We were talking about working things out and then he decided he needed some space. So we didn't talk for a few days, then he emails me yesterday (my birthday) and informs me that he thinks we should "go our seperate ways" and that "too much has happened" and that this way I "don't have to wait for him". I'm so confused and mad. When I asked him what had happened in two days for him to suddenly decide what it is that he wants his only answer is "I don't know". He was going to come here yesterday because there were some things that I had wanted to tell him. He asked me to email them to him instead. So I did...I told him exactly what I had planned on telling him. That I thought if he and I were both willing to work on the relationship that I honestly thought we would be able to work things out. And that I wanted to be able to trust him again. He tells me that this other girl had nothing to do with his decision. That he hasn't spoken to her since Monday (09/13). I would just like to know what he based his decision on. Did he just decide to take the "easy" way out? This way he doesn't have to deal with working on the relationship??? How is it that they can just go on and act like life is fine? I haven't slept through the night since this happened. I hardly have an appetite. My mother forces me to eat. The hardest part is that he lived here with me and my parents (he doesn't have much of a home life). And everytime I walk into our bedroom I feel like I can't breathe. I can't stand the fact that he's not lying right there beside me at night. I feel actual PHYSICAL pain at night. I don't know what to do. Do I say anything? By the way, he never responded to my emails. But I know that he read them and didn't delete them...I checked his email....Do I just accept this and hope to God that he wakes up one day and realzes what he threw away??? HELP!!!!!!!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 11:35am
relationship(s) just don't end, when there's someone else in the picture. your ex finace, sounds alot like my ex boyfriend-only he didn't break up w/me via email. he let me go through the whole process of loving/hating him, he even went through the "you need time speech" and when i decided that i wanted to love/trust him again, he comes out of left field and decides that it be best if we were just friends. he told me that his decision had nothing to do w/the woman he cheated on me w/but i know differently...

i'm sorry to hear about your aching heart, hopefully time will heal all of our wounds.

take care.

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