Welcome to the board beautifullyb (I agree with Sandra, so I'm not going to affirm the negative part of your name :0) )
In addition to the excellent advice you got from Sandra, I wanted to add a few things.
::It hurts SOOOO bad, because in a way, I wanted him to at least miss me a little. Just to let me know that I am not worthless and that after everything I did for him- I wasnt as disposable and he made it seem I was.
You are NOT less than because of his actions, choices, decisions, words or behavior.
Just wanted to comment on that statement (which I realize is not yours). I think it's a gross oversimplification. So many factors, other than longevity, go into the meaning of a relationship. I got over my 11-year marriage with very little trauma, but took a year and a half (including a 3-week stay in the psych ward of a hospital) to get over a 3-month relationship the following year. It's a long story, but ALL my hopes for love, adventure, excitement, fulfillment, and meaning were pinned on that relationship (which took place in a foreign country). It was the first time I had been in a relationship where we were BOTH head over heels, briefly as his feelings lasted, so I hadn't a CLUE what to do with my feelings when it ended.
Yup, it's a gross oversimplification which is why I really dislike that idea. Exactly my point when I said: ....."You can date someone for a very short time and they can impact you immensely maybe even for the rest of your life, or you can be with someone a very long time, even married, and when it's over afterwards it feels like that all happened to someone else. So it varies and there's no real rhyme or reason to it. It's a matter of putting the relationship you had and the life you want to create for yourself into perspective.".....
It's kind of shocking how many references I see to sitcoms and comedy writers being passed as advice, or how many people wrap themselves around the axle when they compare themselves, their lives, or their SOs to stuff that happens only in movies.
I was married for nine years and it took less than a year to get over it, I was so ready to be done with that. I dated someone for about eight months and it took about a year (ok, more) to get over it; his entrance into my life will ultimately make a lifelong impact, of that I'm sure, while I barely remember what life was like with my ex-h, much less any feelings associated with him.
I have a question for you:
Welcome to the board beautifullyb (I agree with Sandra, so I'm not going to affirm the negative part of your name :0) )
In addition to the excellent advice you got from Sandra, I wanted to add a few things.
::It hurts SOOOO bad, because in a way, I wanted him to at least miss me a little. Just to let me know that I am not worthless and that after everything I did for him- I wasnt as disposable and he made it seem I was.
You are NOT less than because of his actions, choices, decisions, words or behavior.
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Just wanted to comment on that statement (which I realize is not yours). I think it's a gross oversimplification. So many factors, other than longevity, go into the meaning of a relationship. I got over my 11-year marriage with very little trauma, but took a year and a half (including a 3-week stay in the psych ward of a hospital) to get over a 3-month relationship the following year. It's a long story, but ALL my hopes for love, adventure, excitement, fulfillment, and meaning were pinned on that relationship (which took place in a foreign country). It was the first time I had been in a relationship where we were BOTH head over heels, briefly as his feelings lasted, so I hadn't a CLUE what to do with my feelings when it ended.
Freelance
Yup, it's a gross oversimplification which is why I really dislike that idea. Exactly my point when I said: ....."You can date someone for a very short time and they can impact you immensely maybe even for the rest of your life, or you can be with someone a very long time, even married, and when it's over afterwards it feels like that all happened to someone else. So it varies and there's no real rhyme or reason to it. It's a matter of putting the relationship you had and the life you want to create for yourself into perspective.".....
It's kind of shocking how many references I see to sitcoms and comedy writers being passed as advice, or how many people wrap themselves around the axle when they compare themselves, their lives, or their SOs to stuff that happens only in movies.
I was married for nine years and it took less than a year to get over it, I was so ready to be done with that. I dated someone for about eight months and it took about a year (ok, more) to get over it; his entrance into my life will ultimately make a lifelong impact, of that I'm sure, while I barely remember what life was like with my ex-h, much less any feelings associated with him.