I've lost so much, I need advice...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
I've lost so much, I need advice...
2
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 10:06pm
discussion title: I've lost so much, I need advice...

emoticon:

message #: 10548.1

from: chloe_2004

date: 10:04 pm

replies: 1

next discussion>>




I am so tired of this feeling. I always have this ache in the pit of my stomach, this nervousness. Everything just feels so surreal. Its been a month and a half and so strange to think I do not have him in my life anymore. I always feel like I could cry at any minute. Noone would know it though. I keep busy, visit friends and family, and don't bring it up a lot of the time, only to select people. But it's like Im always carrying a little ache in my stomach. I don't let myself cry much because when I break down and cry it opens up these terrible, hopeless feelings and it just hurts so bad. I hate this. I want our old life back. It's just so weird to think he may not be coming back this time. Can anyone else relate to this feeling? Am I dealing with things wrong? I need advice, my heart hurts... I know that my family and most of my friends think I am doing so good, but deep inside I just miss him and want him back. I do have a couple of friends I talk to about it, but some people like my parents, just want me to move on so I act fine around them whenever I go to visit them... I stay at my parent's house a lot lately on the nights that I know if I am home alone I will just lose it... I know it's OK to break down and cry and I have, but I just can't do that all of the time and I try so hard to shut it out and just keep busy. I'm sorry for the rambling but I really need advice... A little after our breakup I lost my job too and I have never lost a job before so right now I am boyfriendless and jobless. I am working on finding a job everyday and even went to an agency because I need a job right away. I made good money before and can't afford to be without one. I think it makes it so much worse because when I went to work I wouldnt think about it and now I am just so stressed and so scared... :(



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 11:35pm
Hi Chloe,

I am in the same boat as you are. I try to stay busy and do things, my friends think I am handling the break up "amazingly well", but I miss him so much! A part of me is scared that I am always going to miss him and not be able to move on. But if I continue to think this way, I will ruin my life. Soooo... I continue to keep busy, eventhough I am sad, and I think of it like this... if it meant to be... then it will be. In the meantime, I need to find the things that make me happy. I need to go out and experience life. Maybe there is someone who is even better for me out there... or maybe I will find my way back to my ex. I don't know... but I will never know if I do not go out and do it.

You are not alone... I feel the same way you do. It has to get better. The pain we feel just shows that we are nice, senisitive people who value relationships. Some people are not like that.. so it is easier to move on.

Take care!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 11:44pm
Hey Chloe-

Im so sorry to hear that you are hurting like this. It breaks my heart to hear it and I dont even know you. I know what you mean about putting up a front for your parents and friends. I havent even told many people that my BF and I broke up. We are trying to fix it but fact of the matter is we are broken up and I dont have to courage to tell anyone that. ANd the people who do know I try to act as unaffected as possible around because they just dont understand me or my relationship. They try to tell me all the "bad" things about him but I dont want to hear it b/c no one is perfect and no matter what there will always be some "bad" things or quirks. I think that once you find a job you will begin to feel more secure and have less time to think. I am a teacher so I am not working right now either and its killing me to have all this time to dwell. The way you are feeling is not wrong or weird it is completely normal. Try to keep yourself surrounded with supportive people. You seem to be keeping busy and thats a good thing so keep on doing it. I know how hard it is to talk to even closest friends and family about this because they just dont understand. But you do need to find someone to talk to ...Thats why I come here. There is always someone who understands or knows how u feel. It will get better eventually. I wish u the best of luck. I hope ive helped. Stay strong. {{hugs}}