That Jerk!
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| Tue, 06-28-2005 - 6:31pm |
You know, I'm having a hard time hating my ex because I love him so much, but I just found out that he's been seeing someone else (a chick who works for the same company as us and is taking the same spanish class as he is this summer). I'm not positive that they're dating or anything but his away messages have made me think otherwise (I did delete him from my IM after last night...reading his profile and away messages only make me feel worse...). One said that he was out getting sushi and watching a spanish movie (uh, yeah, who else from his spanish class would he do that with?...and this chick lives right by "mine and his" sushi restaurant--we went there for our first date and a year from our first date and i'm sure that bastard took her there too)...and last night it said "going to sleep happy for the first time in awhile". Ok so it could be about something else, but I've heard people from work talking about stuff like how she's changed the schedule without talking to our boss first so she can work with him (and he's not the kind of guy who would break the rules at work unless he thought something was more important than his job...ie. slut girl).
He promised me that he wasn't leaving me for another girl (and i even asked specifically about this girl) and he told me no and i asked if he was just going to go out and start dating other people and he said that he wasnt going to for awhile. I really thought I meant something to him and he even told me that I would always be his first love (I'm pretty sure you don't try to replace those right away because they're pretty special and it would be hard to compare anything with it so soon after a breakup....)...but he broke up with me because our relationship wasnt "fun" anymore (which could've been remedied if he hadnt waited 2 f'ing weeks to tell me he felt that way...) AND he lied to me about whether there was another girl. He KNEW I would find out because the girls I work with think he's a bastard for doing this to me so they tell me what's going on.
It's so hard for me to think that he never loved me at all because if he did he wouldnt' have moved on so quickly, but at the same time, I feel naieve when I think that he really did love me and that maybe something just happened (insecurities, realizing he has one year of college left, I was his first "real" relationship...etc.) because we were together for a year and I know that we were really happy for a long time (probably until the beginning of May we were so in tune to eachother's lives and eachother, for that)but then he broke up with me because he said he was afraid of marriage. He ended up coming back and saying htat he thought his fear of marriage meant he didn't want to marry me someday (i never even really pushed that, of course i wanted it, but he talked about it a lot too...)So we got back together...but then he broke up with me again a month later....
I'm sorry for being so angry, I know you guys don't want to read all that negativity, but I really need to vent....I'm just so hurt that I really thought he cared about me and loved me...after all this is it even possible he misses me (not wants me back, but misses me and loves me)? :(

Dear, you have to think like a man to better understand how they think and act. Your ex may indeed have loved you at one point -you were dating for a year- but after the break up you "disappeared" from his eye field and all the women in the world "appreared" in front of his eyes. It is possible that he did morn your "loss" for a few days, with a beer or two in his hand. His friends may have consoled him, but told him that he lost one woman but that he can win many more.
Men are practical, they don't dwell over memories like we women do. They think that they lost one woman, but that they can win another one. Men get together and encourage each other, even if the man in question is a furry bear with the breath of a toillet, they encourage him to get the woman. They may say "man, you're the one, you can have any woman you want". Men are practical and that's why they move on so easily. Women are sentimental and that's why we hold on to memories and cards and gifts and have a hard time moving on.
Your ex said many things that you wanted to hear. He promissed you many things, but he didn't intent to keep those promisses. Don't dwell on it anymore. Just put this man in your past and move on.
Just because your ex ended things and seems to be moving on doesn't mean he doesn't or didn't love you.