Just Broke Up 4 days ago, Need Support
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| Tue, 12-12-2006 - 2:46pm |
I just broke-up with my boyfriend 4 days ago, I’m dying to call him, but I have to find the strength not to for my own dignity. I feel like a drug-addict who is having withdrawal symptoms, can’t eat, sleep, can’t work and I have my own business, and constantly thinking about nothing but his sad ass. Went to my doctor yesterday got a higher dose of antidepressants and Ambien a sleeping pill so I don’t get up middle of the night and think of him, and xanax to relax me, because I have a knot in my stomach the size of mexico.
I wish they sold a pill we can take and with-in 24 hours forget about our ex-boyfriends, don’t give a damn about them, “oh he’s dead” I’m sorry to hear but I don’t really care. And we can all move on with our lives and not have a care about them in the world.
The old saying time heals all wounds, yeah, yeah, I know, I know, it embedded in my brain, I am sick of hearing it to.
Today and the last 4 days feel like it’s been 4 months if I can’t get through this week without calling him, I will feel like superwoman.
I would love support and feedback from you great women, I do not want to call my friends and hear I been telling you he is a jerk.
This Saturday, I bought a great book you should get it to called
“It’s Called a Break-Up because it’s broken” by Greg Behrendt. It has really helped me so much and I promise with all my heart and soul it will help you. There is a chapter on “NOT CALLING HIM” which that part helped me soooo much. Say’s if you call him, you will delay getting over him, lose your power and take longer to get over him.
Any other books you women would recommend on break-ups?
Paris888

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My ex-boyfriend completely blindsided me right before Thanksgiving and having learned from past break-ups I vowed I would cut off my right hand before I dared contact him be it phone or e-mail. I read It's Called A Break-up and another good book is one called Bittergirl. Some people recommend Don't Call That Man. I haven't read that one but I'm sure it's good.
Here is a trick that has helped me. In your copy of It's Called A Break-up..use a yellow highlighter and higlight all the parts that say why you shouldn't call him, so anytime you get the urge first pick-up that book and read those passages again and again until the urge passes--and it will!
In the meantime just get out there and have some fun!!
You will get through this. It will be 30 days for me on Monday and I'm I have to say I'm doing pretty darn good!
Dear Paris: I'm with you girl! Hang in there. I know it's tough, but you can do it. Go out with your friends and occupy yourself with A LOT of things to do. Trust me, keeping busy is the trick to keeping yourself from calling him.
I read a book called "Letting Go"...I wish I knew who the author was but it's a 12 week process in getting over someone. It's helped me to become a stronger woman and it's helped a couple of my friends get over their ex's.
Good luck to you and keep doing what you're doing...reread that part of your book "not calling him"...keep rereading it and digest exactly why you are not going to call him. There's a good reason why you shouldn't call and you already know the reason. Also, write down why you broke up and what you value the most out of a "good" relationship. That will help you clarify the reasons why you shouldn't be together. You're on the right track to getting over him once and for all.
Best of luck!
GH
Thanks IRET513,
Thanks so much for your support, Today is day # 5 almost did not want to get out of bed, but I did, I have a lot of work to do today. I almost texted him this morning, but still have the whole day.
30 Days !!!! You are my hero. How did you do it? Please tell me your secret. You mean no texting or e-mailing? Did he try to call or contact you? How was the first week? Was is death? Please tell me how you got through the first week? I would greatly appreciate it.
You are not 100% right 1000%, I should cut off my right hand to, if I call the SOB. How is the BittrtGirl Book? Is it a must read?
I found another book “Letting Go” yesterday, but some of the replies I got from support replies, mentioned it too.
Amazing idea you said that about highlighting, the whole part in the book where don’t call, I am going to re-read that part and highlight.
Paris888
paris888,
I had absolutely no contact, and my ex has not contacted me...Thank God!! The first week was hard but I have a supportive family and friends who have been there for me--and even if you don't feel you can talk to your friends just vent on this board, that is what it is here for. I am also a big runner so I have put a lot of energy back into that and that helps with the anger. You should definitely go for any form of excercise and focus on work.
I think my secret is that while I love my ex, I love myself more. I have learned from past break-ups where I called everyday pleading and trying to prove why we shouldn't break-up--that never works. It's like the old saying, "That which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger."
Bittergirl is good because it is smart and funny too just like "It's Called a Break-up" Any book that is practical and makes you laugh is a good thing.
Hang in there Chickie and you bought one of the best books on the market for people like us who are going through or have been through a break-up. I read that book just days after getting blindsided dumped by my ex and 6 months later, I still pick it up and read through some chapters. The first month is going to totally suck to no end so the best thing to do is keep yourself busy. I was an emotional wreak right after getting dumped, like you couldn't sleep, eat, and I cried A LOT. Crying actually helps the healing process because you are letting your emotions out instead of keeping them in. I leaned on my girlfriends and family more than ever and still do at times. You are going to go through a lot of emotions during this time and for me, anger was the most difficult to overcome (I still have issues with it) but keep up the good work of NC. If you have to, throw away everything that he ever gave you or anything that reminds you of him. Delete his phone number out of your phone, throw away his address, and do not drive by his house. The most important thing you can do is take care of yourself because you are number one right now, not him.
Good luck with your healing and we are all here for you and know what you are going through.
Anna
Hang in there girl!! My ex decided he wanted to see other people and I told him I couldn't handle that. I was the crazy ex, calling and emailing - against the very smart advice of my family, friends and therapist! I finally woke up and stopped contacting him. It's been 23 days of no contact on my side and he has made no effort to contact me (even though he told me he still wanted to date me as well as the other girls). I am sure he is shocked I have not made contact.
I consider It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken my bible. I regularly pick it back up and read the reasons not to call. I have also made a list of the reasons why he was not good for me and everytime I remember something else, I add it to that list and re-read what I have already written. I was like you for the first week or so. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and couldn't focus. Surround yourself with a support system, keep busy and do something for yourself. You will have good and bad days. The holidays don't help but you will get thru this. This board is a great way to get help and know you are not alone! Hugs
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