Just Broke Up 4 days ago, Need Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Just Broke Up 4 days ago, Need Support
24
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 2:46pm

I just broke-up with my boyfriend 4 days ago, I’m dying to call him, but I have to find the strength not to for my own dignity. I feel like a drug-addict who is having withdrawal symptoms, can’t eat, sleep, can’t work and I have my own business, and constantly thinking about nothing but his sad ass. Went to my doctor yesterday got a higher dose of antidepressants and Ambien a sleeping pill so I don’t get up middle of the night and think of him, and xanax to relax me, because I have a knot in my stomach the size of mexico.

I wish they sold a pill we can take and with-in 24 hours forget about our ex-boyfriends, don’t give a damn about them, “oh he’s dead” I’m sorry to hear but I don’t really care. And we can all move on with our lives and not have a care about them in the world.

The old saying time heals all wounds, yeah, yeah, I know, I know, it embedded in my brain, I am sick of hearing it to.

Today and the last 4 days feel like it’s been 4 months if I can’t get through this week without calling him, I will feel like superwoman.
I would love support and feedback from you great women, I do not want to call my friends and hear I been telling you he is a jerk.

This Saturday, I bought a great book you should get it to called
“It’s Called a Break-Up because it’s broken” by Greg Behrendt. It has really helped me so much and I promise with all my heart and soul it will help you. There is a chapter on “NOT CALLING HIM” which that part helped me soooo much. Say’s if you call him, you will delay getting over him, lose your power and take longer to get over him.

Any other books you women would recommend on break-ups?

Paris888

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2006
Thu, 12-21-2006 - 11:41am

Any other books you women would recommend on break-ups?----Paris888

Yes! "Don't Call That Man!" It's a very short, nice little book that will really make you not want to call him. I highly suggest it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 12:31pm

Thanks Kitsy,

I need everybody's stregnth and support.

Today I am in pain, I went back on the drug again. I am sorry I have to disapoint you and I went back 2 weeks ago with my ex-boyfriend and it was worse, there was so much drama, I will explain on my post. There was an intervention from my brothers this past weekend.

My older brother said to me Do you want to marry a dirtbag, you will be a dirtbag. Is that what you want?" Of course I said no.
I have to just admit Ive been minupulated and verbally abused. Of course he promised me Friday he would spend Chr
Everything around him is negative and lies and I have to keep putting that in my head.
Please god let me get through this first week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 1:24pm

I'm sorry I have not got back to you; Bad news got back with the SOB and broke-up again
23 days God Bless you, I want to to steal your strength, please i need it more than ever.
I've been reading the book again, you are right is the Bible break-up book. I started reading "Letting Go" But Break up because it's broken I feel is better.

Below is the story I posted a little while ago.

I am sorry ladies. I am disgusted with myself. What is wrong with me? Today I am in extreme pain once again; I went back on the drug again. I am sorry I have to disappoint you wonderful ladies that gave me all that great advice. I went back 2 weeks ago with my ex-boyfriend and it was worse, there was so much drama, I ready to tell you ladies the truth:
Let’s start with I know you are all going to scream at me. He is married. He is and was supposed get divorced for the last year, that’s what he told me and I fell for it over, over and over again. I also isolated everyone that tried to tell me this is a bad guy. Leave him, he is lying to you, wake up. We know he loves you, but until he leaves his wife what do you really have? And what’s make you think he is not going to do it to you when you marry him? The sick part to this whole thing the wife knew about me and still held on to him hoping we would break-up. Or maybe the truth is he was telling her a stories and me.
When I was with him last week the wife knew he was with me, he got home at 11:00pm she questioned him about being with me(I’m sure he denied it). The next day she apologized for questioning him where he was. People are you kidding me. I need to be lucky I am not stuck with at home with no money and 2 of his kids.

So this weekend there was an intervention from my brothers this past weekend.
The story goes;
My ex-boyfriend’s partner who is also married living with another woman(who was my friend and threw me under the bus months ago)but his wife is in another country with his children. The partner called my brothers this weekend and told all these lies about me, so he can break us up. He probably did me a favor. A month ago my ex-boyfriend tried to get rid of his partner because he does not do any work while my ex-boyfriend works 10 hours a day. (That is another story) and his partner knows that I have great influence on My ex-boyfriend getting him out of the partnership, so he wanted to get rid of me. So he called my brothers and said all these lies, which worked, my brothers had a major intervention and talk with me where I was embarrassed of myself and my actions. Because if you know me, this is not me, but when you heart is involved you can’t control your actions.

My older brother said to me, “Do you want to marry a dirt-bag? You will be a dirt-bag and live your life as a dirt-bag. These people are liars and scumbags. Our family are nothing like these people. Is that what you want?" Of course I said no. My brother said he still married right? I said no, he said don’t lie to me, I will cut the money off to your company, (My brother has financed my company)
I have to just admit I’ve been manipulated and verbally abused.
Of course my ex-boyfriend promised me Friday he would leave for good on Christmas and finally spend his life with me. Guess what did not even hear from him. Since all this drama went down. I thought to myself this is a gift he did not leave Is this what you want? Really? The past 2 months my intuition was screaming at me, these questions.

Everything around him is negative and lies, even the way he runs his business he is constantly lying to people to get money invested in his business and misuses the funds, without these people knowing.

I have to keep putting that in my head to get over this and out of this, he is a liar he will always be, men don’t change and this is who he is.

Please god just give me the strength to get through this week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 1:33pm

Do you like all this drama in your life? Do you like the havoc and chaos? He's got it made....married with a girl on the side.

You are going to have to be strong. You are going to have to find your self-worth and stand up for yourself. I hope you find the strength.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 1:39pm

Hi Fearlesschick,

I messed up went back. I need you ladies more than ever. Today i printed your response and everybody's else responses put it next to my bed and read them and use them as my life line. I wrote the whole story about what happened.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 2:14pm

Thanks itwinflame,

Your right, your right, your right. He's got it made, well not anymore, he can go back to pathetic life with out me.

No I do like all this drama, it's a no brainer, I just need to get my brains back, my self-worth and self-esteem.

If I can get through this week, it will be a miracle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 4:13pm

Don't beat yourself up. Let this finally be it and just move forward. And always remember this--even if he left his wife for you, what makes you think he wouldn't leave you for another woman. Be thankful you are not married to this horror show.

Stay strong and learn from this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 7:37pm

I feel the same way about my gf, I hope you dont mind I'm a guy. You said you needed support and you mentioned a book there. That's cool. I think those self help books are grreat. One thing does bother me though, evrything seems to be geared toward women. I could'nt find one book on the effects of cheating- (when a woman cheats on a guy) so I had to buy -a good book by the way - "When your lover is a liar" -my buds found this one day and I'm sure they were dying. It's by Dr Susan Forward, who may be cool. But in general I feel like a victim, just being a guy trying to get insight from reading the book. I'm ramblin on about crapola...sorry.

What tips did you find helpful in that book and how have you apllied them?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 11:19am

Thanks Iret513,

Your right he is a horror show and I'm sure 3 months it will be clearer and clearer what piece of garbage he is.

Exactly, that's what I said to myself and him, If I marry you and we talked about getting married in the spring, you were probably do this to me. And if I did marry him, and he did to me, I would deserve it beacuse what you see is what you get. By the way he has been cheating on his wife for many years, not as long as me, just went out to have sex, beacuse like every married man, he does not get it from his wife. (Yeah Right)

For Your support, this morning was hard getting out of bed again.
And Last night from 4:30pm -8:00pm I must say was beyond terrible I was in my room with the worst anxiety,I was literally paralyzed, if I sat up I was dizzy, my heart was racing, I could not even read or move finally after 4 hours I got up and walked around in my house. Another problem is I own my company which I am trying to get off the ground, so I work when I need to, right now my focus is gone.
I decided I need to get a part time job ASAP or else I really feel like a crazy woman and needs to be institutionalized.

This morning I called some therapists to get help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 11:25am

Hi Mony,
Stop saying because I am a guy, you are a human with a heart. "Letting Go" is for Both men and women not geared towards women for both.

Last night I read more, it talks about Hope which is a bad and dangerous thing and if you keep hoping you will never ever move on. Get it today, it will help you I promise.

That book your friends gave you should I get it? My Ex-boyfriend has been lying to me for a year, which honestly it is really hard to face for right now?

Your friends were not dying or laughing at you, they want to help us but whatever they say goes in one ear and out the other believe me that was me, until something bad happened to me you get your wake-up call.

How are you doing? Are you dying to call, like all of us?

Last night from 4:30pm -8:00pm I must say was beyond terrible I was in my room with the worst anxiety,I was literally paralyzed, if I sat up I was dizzy, my heart was racing, I could not even read or move finally after 4 hours I got up and walked around in my house. Another problem is I own my company which I am trying to get off the ground, so I work when I need to, right now my focus is gone.
I decided I need to get a part time job ASAP or else I really feel like a crazy woman and needs to be institutionalized.
This morning I called some therapists to get help.