Just Broke Up 4 days ago, Need Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Just Broke Up 4 days ago, Need Support
24
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 2:46pm

I just broke-up with my boyfriend 4 days ago, I’m dying to call him, but I have to find the strength not to for my own dignity. I feel like a drug-addict who is having withdrawal symptoms, can’t eat, sleep, can’t work and I have my own business, and constantly thinking about nothing but his sad ass. Went to my doctor yesterday got a higher dose of antidepressants and Ambien a sleeping pill so I don’t get up middle of the night and think of him, and xanax to relax me, because I have a knot in my stomach the size of mexico.

I wish they sold a pill we can take and with-in 24 hours forget about our ex-boyfriends, don’t give a damn about them, “oh he’s dead” I’m sorry to hear but I don’t really care. And we can all move on with our lives and not have a care about them in the world.

The old saying time heals all wounds, yeah, yeah, I know, I know, it embedded in my brain, I am sick of hearing it to.

Today and the last 4 days feel like it’s been 4 months if I can’t get through this week without calling him, I will feel like superwoman.
I would love support and feedback from you great women, I do not want to call my friends and hear I been telling you he is a jerk.

This Saturday, I bought a great book you should get it to called
“It’s Called a Break-Up because it’s broken” by Greg Behrendt. It has really helped me so much and I promise with all my heart and soul it will help you. There is a chapter on “NOT CALLING HIM” which that part helped me soooo much. Say’s if you call him, you will delay getting over him, lose your power and take longer to get over him.

Any other books you women would recommend on break-ups?

Paris888

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 11:40am

Hi Much 2 Young,
Youu have heard from because I went back and broke up again,Below is the whole story:

I am sorry ladies. I am disgusted with myself. What is wrong with me? Today I am in extreme pain once again; I went back on the drug again. I am sorry I have to disappoint you wonderful ladies that gave me all that great advice. I went back 2 weeks ago with my ex-boyfriend and it was worse, there was so much drama, I ready to tell you ladies the truth:
Let’s start with I know you are all going to scream at me. He is married. He is and was supposed get divorced for the last year, that’s what he told me and I fell for it over, over and over again. I also isolated everyone that tried to tell me this is a bad guy. Leave him, he is lying to you, wake up. We know he loves you, but until he leaves his wife what do you really have? And what’s make you think he is not going to do it to you when you marry him? The sick part to this whole thing the wife knew about me and still held on to him hoping we would break-up. Or maybe the truth is he was telling her a stories and me.
When I was with him last week the wife knew he was with me, he got home at 11:00pm she questioned him about being with me(I’m sure he denied it). The next day she apologized for questioning him where he was. People are you kidding me. I need to be lucky I am not stuck with at home with no money and 2 of his kids.

So this weekend there was an intervention from my brothers this past weekend.
The story goes;
My ex-boyfriend’s partner who is also married living with another woman(who was my friend and threw me under the bus months ago)but his wife is in another country with his children. The partner called my brothers this weekend and told all these lies about me, so he can break us up. He probably did me a favor. A month ago my ex-boyfriend tried to get rid of his partner because he does not do any work while my ex-boyfriend works 10 hours a day. (That is another story) and his partner knows that I have great influence on My ex-boyfriend getting him out of the partnership, so he wanted to get rid of me. So he called my brothers and said all these lies, which worked, my brothers had a major intervention and talk with me where I was embarrassed of myself and my actions. Because if you know me, this is not me, but when you heart is involved you can’t control your actions.

My older brother said to me, “Do you want to marry a dirt-bag? You will be a dirt-bag and live your life as a dirt-bag. These people are liars and scumbags. Our family are nothing like these people. Is that what you want?" Of course I said no. My brother said he still married right? I said no, he said don’t lie to me, I will cut the money off to your company, (My brother has financed my company)
I have to just admit I’ve been manipulated and verbally abused.
Of course my ex-boyfriend promised me Friday he would leave for good on Christmas and finally spend his life with me. Guess what did not even hear from him. Since all this drama went down. I thought to myself this is a gift he did not leave Is this what you want? Really? The past 2 months my intuition was screaming at me, these questions.

Everything around him is negative and lies, even the way he runs his business he is constantly lying to people to get money invested in his business and misuses the funds, without these people knowing.

I have to keep putting that in my head to get over this and out of this, he is a liar he will always be, men don’t change and this is who he is.

Please god just give me the strength to get through this week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 11:42am

Hi jewwl burns,
Sorry you have not heard from me went back and broke up again I hope I have the stregnth it's for good this time;
Below is the story:

I am sorry ladies. I am disgusted with myself. What is wrong with me? Today I am in extreme pain once again; I went back on the drug again. I am sorry I have to disappoint you wonderful ladies that gave me all that great advice. I went back 2 weeks ago with my ex-boyfriend and it was worse, there was so much drama, I ready to tell you ladies the truth:
Let’s start with I know you are all going to scream at me. He is married. He is and was supposed get divorced for the last year, that’s what he told me and I fell for it over, over and over again. I also isolated everyone that tried to tell me this is a bad guy. Leave him, he is lying to you, wake up. We know he loves you, but until he leaves his wife what do you really have? And what’s make you think he is not going to do it to you when you marry him? The sick part to this whole thing the wife knew about me and still held on to him hoping we would break-up. Or maybe the truth is he was telling her a stories and me.
When I was with him last week the wife knew he was with me, he got home at 11:00pm she questioned him about being with me(I’m sure he denied it). The next day she apologized for questioning him where he was. People are you kidding me. I need to be lucky I am not stuck with at home with no money and 2 of his kids.

So this weekend there was an intervention from my brothers this past weekend.
The story goes;
My ex-boyfriend’s partner who is also married living with another woman(who was my friend and threw me under the bus months ago)but his wife is in another country with his children. The partner called my brothers this weekend and told all these lies about me, so he can break us up. He probably did me a favor. A month ago my ex-boyfriend tried to get rid of his partner because he does not do any work while my ex-boyfriend works 10 hours a day. (That is another story) and his partner knows that I have great influence on My ex-boyfriend getting him out of the partnership, so he wanted to get rid of me. So he called my brothers and said all these lies, which worked, my brothers had a major intervention and talk with me where I was embarrassed of myself and my actions. Because if you know me, this is not me, but when you heart is involved you can’t control your actions.

My older brother said to me, “Do you want to marry a dirt-bag? You will be a dirt-bag and live your life as a dirt-bag. These people are liars and scumbags. Our family are nothing like these people. Is that what you want?" Of course I said no. My brother said he still married right? I said no, he said don’t lie to me, I will cut the money off to your company, (My brother has financed my company)
I have to just admit I’ve been manipulated and verbally abused.
Of course my ex-boyfriend promised me Friday he would leave for good on Christmas and finally spend his life with me. Guess what did not even hear from him. Since all this drama went down. I thought to myself this is a gift he did not leave Is this what you want? Really? The past 2 months my intuition was screaming at me, these questions.

Everything around him is negative and lies, even the way he runs his business he is constantly lying to people to get money invested in his business and misuses the funds, without these people knowing.

I have to keep putting that in my head to get over this and out of this, he is a liar he will always be, men don’t change and this is who he is.

Please god just give me the strength to get through this week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 2:14am

you know I came across a better book but I gorgot the name of it-sorry! The book I got is great but believe or not the outline of this other new book and actually how it reads so simply is really amazing- I think Infidelity is a part of its title- hang on let me search-oK I got it!

Surviving Infidelity: Making Decisions, Recovering from the Pain (Paperback)
by Rona B. Subotnik, Gloria Harris

If your an entreprenuer like me, and Ithink you are you'll appreciate the organizatiojn of this book-and its unbelievably concise from what I saw!

what are you doing that's new to you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 1:16pm

Hi M0ny,

Hope you are doing well and strong, this has been the longest week of my life, but I made it.

Bought that book "your lover is a liar" It was to depressing for me right now to read, maybe in 2 weeks I will re-read it, it was also painful and I do not know if I can face how I was minupulated and lied to. I need to heal than face how I was lied to.

I went to the therapist for the first time on Thursday, she seemed good so far. She asked me an interesting question. If your ex-boyfriend was to show up at your door showing he got divorced for real, would you want to take him back and be with him? I said I don't know, maybe a month from now, mostly like no I do not want him back, there is to many lies and deception and I think he will always be that way.

Did you get the book "letting go" yet?

Did you speak to her or try to contact her this week?
Have plans for New Years Eve, live your life and have fun that is the best revenge.

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