Just broke up last night
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Just broke up last night
| Tue, 06-07-2005 - 5:43pm |
I've been reading this board for a couple weeks, as my relationship unraveled. We officially broke it off last night. We've been dating off and on for 2 years...each time he breaks up and then contacts me months down the line and we get back together...this time it really seemed like things were going down the good and right path, then he starts getting distant with me a couple of weeks ago, cancelling, etc. I finally confront him and he says he's so sorry for all the mixed messages, not calling, etc, but he's "f***k*d up in the head and doesn't know what he wants"...and he can't continue a romantic relationship with me. He wants us to still be friends since of course, I'm just so great. I am just so confused about the friend thing...I feel like this is a cycle with him...he wants me, no he doesn't, then he does again. I don't know what support I am looking for. I just feel really rejected, hurt and sad. I'm 32 and all my friends are in happy relationships, while I still struggle...it's so hard sometimes. Thanks for listening...I've enjoyed the support you all give one another on this board.

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Know what, banfred?
Wishy-washy people are terrible friends and even worse as mates. Ending this rollercoaster is a blessing.
Another thing is that wishy-washy people are unstable. They're unsure of every decision they make and they are incredibly unreliable.
As for the rejection you feel... you can't be rejected by someone who can't make up his mind.
And since he can't seem to really make up his own darned mind, make the decision for him - make it for yourself! Enough is enough already!
Don't be his friend. Don't get back with him. Don't see him. Don't talk to him. No contact is the way to go. Nothing, nada, pfft. Turn your heels and flip your hair and sashay away from this dork.
Most of all, don't feed his ego - he certainly has not earned your affections. After a short while, you're going to feel really good about yourself knowing you ended this rollercoaster ride. Nothing bugs people more than apathy - so go get yourself some!
Everything's going to be ok :)
(((HUGS))))
I'm right with you banfred. Its hard, and it hurts. But i keep reminding myself everything happens for a reason...I just haven't figured out the reason yet with this one.
Me and my fiance recently split up (1 month ago) Can't believe its already a month. But people break up for a REASON. And clearly, there is a reason why he keeps changing his mind. Don't waste your time with someone who is "not sure" ---they will never be sure, there will always be doubt.
My fiance broke up with me, but a day later wanted to get back together - you know what I told him? - Sorry, I can't come back. Because after all his bull, and him saying he has "seen the light" I realize that part of him was truly unhappy, and sooner or later he would do this to me again.
Do you want to be in a relationship like that? Where you always wonder if he will change his mind? A man should love you for YOU, not for the woman you are trying to be for him.
My fiance was never happy, nothing was ever good enough. If he wanted one thing, I tried to make him happy, but then he would want the opposite - never satisfied!!!!
UGHHHH, do not waste one more minute on this guy. I am sure that you are worth 10 Times more than him. I know you love him, and being on your own again is scary - but it would be a hell of lot worse for you to waste more time on someone that is exactly that - a waste of time.
Please trust me, I have been on both sides of the spectrum. I dated a man, who for some reason, time after time wanted to get back together with me, even after I broke up with him! And I would keep giving in because I was lonely, or didn't want to deal with starting over with a new person. I realize that it was wrong to keep leading him on.
The easy thing to do is to get back together with him, or try to make it work, but the RIGHT thing to do is usually the hardest thing to do - BUT, in the end, it will make you satisfied.
Please focus on yourself, do things that you enjoy, don't waste time on this man. And don't feel like because you are 32 its over. It is not - this is a great time in your life, so make the most of it - and be independent! Thats what I'm shooting for right now.
Best Wishes to you,
Susan
**Don't be his friend. Don't get back with him. Don't see him. Don't talk to him. No contact is the way to go. Nothing, nada, pfft. Turn your heels and flip your hair and sashay away from this dork.**
ROFLAO!!! This is the best , funniest , but so true, statement. I'm so sorry you are hurting OP , He doesn't deserve another minute of your time, and YOU deserve someones undying love. Take some time here, journal, vent, get it out and you'll begin to feel better. Keep reminding yourself that you did nothing wrong and you just loved him.... if he can't see that, then it's his loss for sure. Hold your head up, big hug
Grace
*hugs*
I think you should just ignore him. Don't contact him. How could he? You're not a yo-yo. It's not right for him to be your boyfriend one minute and friend the next when it's convenient for HIM. He should really think about what he wants before dragging you back and forth. It's not fair to you. You don't want to be wondering all the time when the next "break" will be. It just builds insecurity. You deserve better than this, be strong and move on.
i sympathize with you tons. i'm going through the same thing right now and i hope you keep your chin up and just try to remember that you are great and you're better off losing your dead weight so you can meet someone a little more deserving of you. guys that go back and forth just want to have their cake and eat it too...it's a mindscrew and no one deserves that. it hurts and makes us cry and i think that saying really holds that the guy worth crying over doesn't make you cry.
good luck and i hope you feel better soon.
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