just broke up with me but he owes me $$

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
just broke up with me but he owes me $$
1
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 1:54pm
He was hurting and in tears but he still insisted we should break up. we live in two different continents right now. He used to live in Canada for 10 years but moved back to his country recently.

I m looking for someone in this board late tweeties or early thirties who would like to pen-pal and who is in similar situation.

I would like to ask another question. but dont say I m a material person. I lent my X some money a little more than $3000 and he is not able to pay it back. When he mentioned the money thing the day we broke up I said I dont want you to return the money. But now I feel it is not fair and I could do something to feel better with this money. Do I tell him that we should agree on some schedule for him to pay back??

I feel the whole issue in our breakup is me having more money than he does. Shall I still discuss the money with him?

I dont talk to him anymore I can only email him.

Any advice?

thnx

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 3:15pm
Well, you can discuss the money with him.....if you want it back.

But just realize that anybody that has to borrow money from you is likely not a very good money manager or with the ability to as a single person live on a budget....so it is unlikely that he can ever pay you back.

It's easiest understood like this - it's his 'style" of handling money and living and reasoning and prioritizing that caused the debt to begin with. That style isn't likely to change...in terms of becoming more practical, responsible, and goal focused.

In light of that - it's unlikely that he will ever reach a point of financial solvency to repay you - unless he comes into a windfall of an inheritance and his values dictate that past debts should be paid - if it doesn't impact his lifestyle on a daily basis.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com