Just so lonely
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Just so lonely
| Wed, 06-02-2004 - 9:47am |
I know I am new to this board and I don't want to become annoying but I just don't know where else to turn. I am so miserable and lonely and depressed. I miss him so much that I can't breathe. I want him back but I don't know how to do it. I have no idea if he is even receptive since I haven't heard from him at all - no contact - since he broke up with me a month ago. I seem to be stuck and not able to even make a bit of progress. It's two steps forward and ten steps back. I am making myself crazy and I just want peace, just one moment of peace. I know I should keep myself busy and go out but I just don't feel like being socialable. I don't want a new bf, I want him back.
I am sorry if this is rambling or doesn't make much sense. I just need to rant and rave a bit so that I can get some of these feelings out. Thank you for listening.

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It might be good to have a small talk with him, to see if he has moved on? And it will kind of end the longing feeling that you've had zero contact, and you can begin healing.... or he will have missed you too, and you will know how you feel at that time whether to make ammends. I might get yelled at for giving that advise, but when I called my ex and he said he had moved on, it was eye opening and it gave me nothing to hold on to. (However excrutiatingly sad, at least he was honest) Hope for the best for you
C
It's 1 week today (I'm new here also) and perhaps that's the problem..I was dreading this day..I want to call him..No I NEED to call him..I can't believe he just doesn't think or care about me/us anymore.
Why hasn't he called to see how my daughter is doing? She just came out of hospital after a major accident and operation when he dumped me. His weak excuses for leaving me/us are making me angrier and angerier everytime I think of them. you know them all "It's not you its me" "I'm not strong enough for you" and "I love you but I don't love you enough.
I know how you are feeling and it's awful..I wish I had some wise words to help but I am struggling with it all myself. All I can say is that tomorrow is another day and yes it maybe 10 steps forward 8 back but we are still making progress.
Take care x
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts and
presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman
not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way
of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn and you learn
with every goodbye you learn.
I know it is such a sad time right now. Being lonely is the worst, finding out your ex has moved on is even worse than that, but find hope (like I am trying so hard to) that these days will not last. Get up in the morning, put your makeup on, go to work, get to the gym. It's so hard at first, but these first steps are so crucial. Cry if you need to, but know YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I'm there and everyone reading this is probably there too. I'm thinking of you!
Ria
I do wonder why he hasn't contacted me at all. I like to think that it's because he is waiting for me to make the first move. That he doesn't want to hurt me any worse than he already did and that he doesn't want to hear my cry over the phone anymore or he doesn't want to feel the guilt.
...he might need time to figure things out, and realize that he misses you so much, and that eventually you'll be able to talk with him w/o crying and being so emotional, or, with time you will heal and move on, and meet somebody new and wonderful. Of course you don't want to move on and meet somebody new, but daily, and weekly , and monthly our outlook changes, at least mine does. Even this morning I was so low, and this afternoon I am doing alittle better. Maybe from reading responses and not feeling so alone? I remember crying over the last breakup and how I thought i wasn't going to meet anyone new, and now I'm crying over that new guy....ugggg, but that means soon, I'll be laughing and giggling over somebody else (hopefully , soon would be good)
Know that you gave your all, and being patient will allow you to see brighter days, maybe with him, maybe without, but they are coming!! At least that is what I'm counting on! Keep your head up, I'm cheering for you and all of us!
C
thanks for posting that poem. I actually that of that poem the other day, it really puts things into perspective. I, like all of you am right there with you. It has been 2 weeks for me and I feel like it's not getting any better. I know that with each day the pain goes away a little bit, but there is so much pain there its hard to tell the difference. We will all get there. We just gotta get up every morning and go through the motions no matter how hard it is. Sometimes I just force a smile and for a split second i feel good. We gotta keep strong! Just think, we made it through today! <<>> to all of you.
In one way I guess I am lucky since we do not have common friends, do not live or work near each other, do not work in the same field, will more than likely not bump into each other anywhere so I don't have to worry about that.
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