Just Wondering

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
Just Wondering
2
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 8:01am

Do any of you sometimes wonder if your ex was right and what your really upset about is that they realized it first.

I guess I've been doing alot of thinking and reading in the weeks since the whole break up started and the more I think about it the more I realize that I needed more than my ex could give. If I'm totally honest, something was missing for me too, I just didn't want to give up all the plans we had made. Also, I do love him and we had fun together, never fought. And I am sad not to have him in my day to day life. I just don't think that's always enough and as much as I hate to admit it, I think the split was for the best.

What do you think

K

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: kathylandb
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 9:09am

kathylandb...

So much time has elapsed between divorce #2 and now, that Pianoguy isn't quite sure he can answer your question properly?

My EX WIFE'S abrupt exit surprised me when she did it (August 27th will mark the 5th anniversary of her departure). But in retrospect...I'm glad she left! Where-ever she is, I hope she's HAPPY?

Anyway...here's something to think about:

Most couples go into a marriage or an FWB partnership because their objectives are completely the same. HARMONY, SECURITY and LOVE are all words that I think of. But whether all 3 of these can be sustained indefinitely depends upon the amount of tolerance one half of a couple has for the other? And sometimes...this means going AGAINST your own principles and KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT?

In essence...the 2 of you are "growing in different directions!" Once the differences between your values (individually and collectively) becomes too great...a divorce, separation, or termination of a living arrangement is usually the next event!

When one partner makes the choice to end a relationship, there's often the question of "what did I do wrong?" However, it's entirely possible that the answer is: "NOT A DAMN THING!" . So perhaps he just got tired? Or felt that your original 'happily ever after' living plans weren't going to work?

One more thing...I can only speculate that YOUR NEEDS weren't being met the way you expected? Most men usually arrive at a point where ANYTHING THAT THEY TRY TO DO IN ORDER TO PLEASE A WOMAN...WON'T WORK or WILL ONLY BE A "TEMPORARY FIX?" So we can either continue to live in misery or make the choice to END THINGS and LEAVE! .

Hope this helps you....at least a little?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
In reply to: kathylandb
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 10:11pm

I think this is awesome!

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