kelekas7

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
kelekas7
3
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 11:43am

I emailed you but not sure if you got it, you can email me at traci88@comcast.net.
I am having the hardest time today. It is all I can do to not call him, I just want him to know how much he hurt me and that I still love him as sick as that sounds.

I emailed him and his family, and was kind of criticized for doing so on the post, but she was right. I felt good for the day, but I feel just as horrible, if not more, today. Maybe it was wrong but I needed to vent about crap he did to me.

email me, let me know how you are doing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
In reply to: tjs70
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 1:08pm

I wasn't trying to criticize you, necessarily...I was just trying to give you my honest opinion on what you did. I apologize if I sounded a bit harsh, but I really do feel that writing that e-mail was NOT for the best. I'm glad you realize that it wasn't really worth it, that you felt better only temporarily. I'm not saying that you were "wrong" in doing it...I know how great it feels to vent myself. I just think it was a little over the top, and completely unnecessary to send it to his family as well. But you know what? It's alright--you learned from doing it.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time not calling your ex...believe me, I can definitely relate. I felt the same way when my breakup first occurred. I struggled with the no-contact rule for months! It's really hard to make the transition from talking to that person all the time to not having them in your life at all. There are definitely times where I still miss my ex. But over time, you will learn that there isn't much to say to them anymore...and that trying to have contact only hurts you. Trust me, your ex already knows how much you care and how much he has hurt you. There's no need to continue reminding him.

I hope you feel better. Vent all you want on this discussion board, or in a journal, to your friends/family, etc...but NOT to your ex. You will honestly feel SO great when you reach the point of being strong enough not to contact him. So stay strong, and be proud of yourself if you don't contact him...even not trying to contact him for one hour is something to celebrate--hey, baby steps are important too! :)

Take care of yourself <3

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
In reply to: tjs70
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 10:22pm
No, I didnt take offense to it, I just wished I would have posted here BEFORE I wrote it. I do feel worse now, it was a very short-lived victorious feeling but I've made myself look like an idiot. HIndsight is 20/20.
I am trying so hard to not call. Actually, if you saw our cell phone bills you would freak out. We talked everyday at least 10-15 times? It really is like a hard habit to break.
I will keep posting and if I get the urge to do something stupid again, will post first so you all can talk some sense into me. :o)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
In reply to: tjs70
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 1:40am

I'm glad you didn't take offense to what I said.

Please keep posting...we are all here for you during this extremely difficult time. I hope you are remaining strong and continuing no-contact. It is a VERY good idea to post here and get others' opinions before deciding to do anything involving your ex. I've stopped myself from doing lots of stupid things because of what people on this discussion board have told me. Everyone here knows what you're going through, and can give great insight/advice.

Don't worry about sending that e-mail any longer...it's over and done with. You learned from it and I think you know not to do it again. Be patient...it gets easier over time :)

Take care <3